Just for a few seconds..........

I had a mini-pity party. A blog I read often posted their referral today after missing the cut off by one day last month and they were referred twins!! (See Salsa in China) For a few tiny sleep-deprived seconds I was wishing EFP had been twins. We were approved for twins and although I knew it would be sooooo hard I kind of knew we would want two and twins would have been... well twins! So for the briefest of moments I though - Hey, why didn't we get twins? But as I wiped applesauce off the ceiling and two cats this evening after EFP made several quasi-successful attempts at getting the spoon with applesauce on it into her mouth... I realized I would have given up a while ago of even giving the appearance of maintaining some household order!

Well - perhaps because I would have to have been insane to think I could handle twins! Because I am sort of tired all the time now... not that EFP isn't sleeping she is, but child-rearing is tiring! You are 'on' 100% of the time even while you are supposedly sleeping! I do not think I have had a really "good" night's sleep since we met her. I am not, by any means, complaining. I, tired as I may be, have only known real happiness since the second that little child smiled into my face!!

I suppose this is really due to my growing concern over providing a sibling for her. Ever one to obsess about something - and to move from serious project to serious project - I am now trying to figure out the circumstances under which we will be able to add another child to our little family! How is it I have free-time to be thinking about this? Well - I did it. Tonight I signed the papers for our new car... the MiniVan! We bought a brand spanking new Odyssey EXL Can you believe it? I can't. Weeks of research and dealer shopping, price comparisons and soul searching - do I really want to drive a minivan? Its a done deal. I am picking it up Wednesday. And yes, it is Silver just like I wanted!


Are you wondering how in the world a minivan is at all related to our ideal number of children? Well - if I weren't considering our options for a second child I would not be moving all my Coldplay CDs to the behemoth! Luckily, newbie has a 6-CD Changer so I can still listen to all the Coldplay AND the Philadelphia Chickens!! Yes, the minivan is totally related to our wish for a second child. I just don't know if I am as ready as some of my Moonbeam Sisters who have already signed papers! One is actively paperchasing, another has her LOI off for a waiting child and a whole bunch more are begining the paperchase all over again! I am still trying to get all my post-placement reports matched up with the correct photos!

Besides - I am so in love with my child I am just not ready to contemplate another so quickly. I will know my next child when I see him/her. We are committed to finding our child on a waiting child list. I just know that is how it will happen. I have no idea where in the world - though I suspect it will be either China or the USA, but I really believe we will know his/her face as soon as we see it. Aside from the horrendous wait (now about 14 months from the date the paperwork is logged into China) there are so many unknowns. Most importantly - we believe we are in a good position to offer an amazing opportunity to a child waiting for surgery or in need of something a little extra. You will notice I have been very careful in not saying that our next child will be younger than our current child! I am not sure why - but for some reason I just don't feel like EFP should be the older child - not by very much anyway. I did recently inquire about a child who was 2 weeks younger than EFP, but that child had a family working to adopt her.

I think its just the excitement of referrals and how maternal I feel these days. Both because of EFP and the minivan. Its interesting - I never before felt like this was an inevitability, but it feels so right. Now if I could just get the rest of the scenario to work with me......

So big congrats to this month's referred families..... I am not really wishing for twins... one look at the baby the universe meant for me is enough to convince me, that sometimes (ok, usually) its more than OK that I don't get what I wished for! I don't always have my own best interest at heart! LOL