Santa Claus is coming to town......

You better not cry... you better not pout - so far so good!!

Okay. Maybe Pouting is acceptable..........
(is this not the saddest face in the universe?)

Full out hysteria is also an appropriate reaction!

Today we had the obligatory Santa visits the daycare. So our daycare Creamy Clouds was visited by the big man himself with two actual elfs! The event was just as loud and hot as you can imagine and my own bébe was just as hysterical as the next. The toddlers were just not that into Santa. Not really a surprise - since the last time we attempted Santa - it was a full-blown NO-GO. Oh Well - its a good thing Santa comes late at night while we are all sleeping and therefor no hysterics are needed!

[Total non-sequitur: I can NOT stand music on random sites... it is usually lame and too loud. I all sites with music had an off button right near the top of the page! I did visit one page lately where the music was not only non-annoying but gave us an idea of a song to use on our video from China - Clay A's Love of my Life! It bring tears to my eyes every time I hear it because the love of my life is without a doubt sleeping a few feet way - and so is the other one.)

We still have a ton of things left to do to prepare for the holler-days. I mean Holidays. I have all this cooking to do and a few more gifties to get... I hate when I have a party and I don't have a gift for each person. The kids are done - but I need a few more things for the grown-ups. Also need to finalize the menu. DH asked what we were going to do to celebrate the Year of the Boar in February. OMG! Is he kidding me or what? Then I thought about it for a while and maybe we will do a LITTLE something - since it is so close to our Family Anniversary (the day we met/received/adopted our little bundle). I am going to figure things out but I know I will make a ton of dumplings to mark the occasion! Not even done with this party and the next one is staring me in the face - not to mention the large party we will have in March!

Our paperchase is going well. Papers of all kinds are flying all over the country. I love my agency - they are so nice!! A couple that we traveled with has also decided to join us in the pool and I believe we will both get DTC together again! Won't that beat everything! Two kids from the same exact part of the world... we are so lucky!

When the moon.........

......is in the seventh house and Jupiter aligns with Mars.................



An appropriate opening for this week when the Chinese celebrate the Moon Festival. As I mentioned previously we celebrated the Moon Festival at a local park with tons of our friends! It's a great time to reflect on our ancestors. I have been reflecting on mine - well, at least my Mother. She has been on my mind quite a bit - both for those things she did and those she did not. I miss her but the happier memories are starting to rise to the surface and I am grateful for that. This time of year is a time to give thanks for the gifts our ancestors have given us - I am thankful for the resiliency that seems to be my gift. My DH also seems to have received the gift of resiliency and hopefulness also. When you see the moon - it's the same moon that our foremothers saw and they too looked with hope and dreams. It's the same moon I saw while I waited for the person who whould change my life forever - and she may also have been looking at the moon. Is it a coincidence that Goodnight Moon is her favorite book?

I also reference some other mystic happenings. It's not that I have switched to the 'other' side - I am still the usual skeptic I have always been. Somtimes though there are clear signs that the path I am on is the correct path. This has been one of those times where my path is clear. I may be nervous and a little unsure of myself - but I have been saying something for the last 2 weeks that I think bear repeating and is more than a little applicable these days.

"Just because something is hard (and there is a chance your heart will be broken) doesn't mean you shouldn't do it."

Indeed, everything worth doing is hard in one way or another. I was speaking with someone about buying a house - how the process is so complex and is harder than you think it possibly could be. When we bought our house - it seemed like the hardest thing I had ever done... till we adopted. Now - I know what hard is. I had thought that the process of obtaining a mortgage, where one feels like they are under a microscope and there is a certain amount of being judged 'worthy' or 'unworthy' that is inherent and stays with you for a while after you assume that incredible financial committment. But honestly - I did not know the first thing about scrutiny till we entered the adoption process.

Oddly enough - in baring my entire life to virtual strangers on both sides of the world - I have been able to once and for all rid myself of some demons that have haunted my progress over the years. Stemming from a childhood where some of the most important lessons were absent - it took me a litte longer to figure out what everyone else seemed to know. When I returned to school and completed my masters and entered the PhD program - I sort of figured out everyone (to some extent) is just trying to figure things out. I haven't met too many (though there have been a few) people who knew exactly where they fit in this world - what their special gift was. I am not sure I have found mine either - so I try to be helpful. I do know that I am not afraid anymore of the hard things, or being laughed at or even falling down while taking a leap of faith. I described our journey to become parents as a real leap of faith - faith that I would be able to withstand the scrutiny and invasion of my privacy that was necessary to the process. Withstand the judgement in the face of my own fears as to what kind of Mother would I be - it is hard (though not impossible) to remain positive when you are afraid SOMEONE else will say you are not capable. Thankfully, I did stay in it - it was hard but I did it anyway. And the rewards are a bounty and also an unlooked for gift of joy and a true connection with motherhood. I never knew how much I was capable of loving another person... unconditionally and completely. I had some glimpses when my niece and nephew were born - since I do love them to the moon and back, but it just isn't the same as when that love is reflected back at you as with my child. All the love I give her is reflected back to me... same for her daddy.

I have also come to understand why some people are reticent to shake that up and add a second child. It's hard to believe that once you have poured everything you have into one child - who becomes the center of your universe - that you could then add a another little something to revolve around. I have a suspicion about this as well - that just as I didn't know what it would mean to love one child and the reality has turned out to be so much more than I was capable of believing for me - that adding a second just increases the love you have to give. Instead of dividing - you multiply. Some friends of ours are already anticipating the arrival of a second child - and I bless them for it. My friend already gets that her heart will grow twice as large with the addition of another incredible child to love. My sister got it... I suppose many many people have figured that out.

Things are going very well for us at this point. We have put our moving plans on hold for a while. We realized that EFP is not ready to leave her butterfly and cloud paradise and she would be so sad if she had to. And since I can't imagine that we could duplicate the walls and art - I wouldn't even try. During the nearly two years we waited we had a lot of time to plan and prepare a glorious setting for our darling to come home to, changing her room would be very hard to do under normal moving the household (short of time and cash) circumstances. I am ok with this decision and while you may be reading between the lines that there is more to this decision than meets the eye - believe me, I will change residences the very minute that it is feasible and not likely to cause irreparable harm to our family.

In the meantime - why not go outside tonight and take a peak at the glorious Moon. Think about how far you have come and how magical the journey has been. Give thanks for your ancestors (the good and bad) for even the bad times have left an indellible mark on your soul and you are a better person for having survived. Look up and make a wish - for yourself and your future self, maybe wish a little peace on your past self. I know I will.

Well you just never know do you?

Here are some very amazing young women! One of them is mine and the other two - well I only wish they were! I adore their Mom and ALL their sisters as well! We had such fun at the FCC-LI Autumn Moon last Saturday!

Here is my climbing girl! She has taken to climbing anything and everything - here she is climbing in and out of her red wagon for the gagillionth time! Notice her March Moonbeam Bib! Once a Moonbeam - Always a Moonbeam!

Sometimes in your life there are moments that just take your breath away. I get that a lot these days. My daughter is so amazing - every day she does something that makes me stop and catch my breath. She is adding words to her vocabulary by the bushel and she is increasingly more agile all the time. She will literally climb on anything and everything anytime. We had an amazing time at the picnic - I think (OK I KNOW) this was the best one yet! It certainly was for us - no more longing looks at other people's babies.. or that nagging feeling like we would never be chasing a little one around.. HA! Boy did we chase a little one! EFP did not want to sit still for a second - unless it was in her wagon while IT was moving! We got to see some of our very favorite people - and we missed some others...

We really had a fabulous time and the weather was perfect - though the park was even dustier and dirtier than last year and from our own experience and what we have heard all the kids were covered in muck and were bathed instantaneously upon arrival home! My own baby was so tired she bathed and wanted to go night-night almost immediately. She had so much fun!

We have been very busy and it is going very well. Unfortunately I can not really discuss it here - I will tell all when I can - but for now - it is a rather intense time and I have been hard pressed to get all the details together. For now we are just asking everyone to keep us in their thoughts and hope that all turns out as it should for all involved. (I only bring this up because if my blogging is lacking in its usual verbosity you will know I am not losing interest - I am just tied up doing important other work for the time being)

We are headed up to Vermont for a few days of leaf peeping and harvest festival attending. We are hoping to take a much needed break for a few days. We will enjoy the company of DH's folks and the fall scenery.

On another happy note - I decided to write a little something about how we decided to adopt from China for the new Love Without Boundaries Book Love's Journey 2 - and guess what? They liked it! They really liked it! So a part of our story will be in this book! With pictures of Miss EFP! Our story will be in a section called Honoring the Heirlooms and it will tell about the connection I felt with my Mom and our baby all during the time we were deciding and waiting for our baby. I am proud to have anything at all in this book - it is a beautiful book and I loved the first one. I can't imagine anything better than that our story will help some children who may never know the love of a family - at least know life. All the proceeds help to fund surgeries for children who may never be adopted from China. We are so fortunate that our precious baby was healthy - and was eligible to be adopted internationally - there are so many who are neither. I think my Mom would have liked to know that in addition to making me the happiest Mommy - she helped some very sick children get well. I will post a link when the book is published.

Here is my little Olympic Athlete! What is her speciality you ask? Well - isn't it obvious? Ice Cream Sandwich Eating of Course!!! LOL