EFP: TV on please? (limited to one hour of TV per day)
DH: Okay let me get your milk
EFP: TV on please?
DH: Yes, I hear you
EFP: I want TV on please. No milk, juice! (running battle – the kid is positively juice crazy – actually 50% white grape and 50% water)
EFP: TV on please
EFP: I want TV on please!!
EFP: (shouting) TV ON PLEASE!!!!!
DH: OK! TV goes on (actually Little Einsteins DVD - talk about TV on DEMAND!)
7:02 AM
EFP: I have an ice-pop please? (note: see juice note – this is then poured into pop mold and frozen)
DH: Daddy is fixing some cheerios and milk.
EFP: I have an ice-pop please?
DH: EFP, I am fixing your cereal – would you like peanut butter on toast instead?
EFP: I have an ice-pop!
DH: EFP, you can not have an ice-pop for breakfast!
EFP: I want an ice-pop.
EFP: I want an ice-pop
EFP: I want an ice-pop
EFP: Have ice-pop please
DH: EFP, here is your cereal (toast w/pb, waffles, French toast sticks, eggs, etc.)
EFP: Thank you Daddy – have an ice-pop please.
DH: Here! Have the *$^@*^$@&#@) ice-pop (whisper: don’t tell Mommy!)
7:04 AM
Mom: Good morning boogie!! What’s that?
EFP: Daddy have me ice-pop!
Mom: Hmmmm
Mom: Can you eat your toast w/pb too?
EFP: Yes Mommy. I have an Ice-pop?
Mom: Please eat your toast – you just had an ice-pop!
EFP: I have an ice-pop please?
Mom: EFP, Daddy gave you an ice-pop, you need to eat your toast!
EFP: I want Daddy!
EFP: I want Daddy!
EFP: I want Daddy!
EFP: I want Daddy!
EFP: I want Daddy!
EFP: Daddy give me ice-pop!!
Mom: Of course he did!
(Mutter rude things to self while walking away)
7:06 AM
Mom: Come here baby so I can change your diapie
EFP: No, No change diapie today!
Mom: Yes, it is time for clean diapie – come here so mommy can change it.
Dream Sequence
EFP: Right away mommy! I know you only want me to be clean and healthy and that you live to change my stinky diapie - so I will be right there!
Reality
EFP: NO!! No change diapie now!
Mom: OK – goes and gets baby deposits on changing pad (engage in tickling and funny voice)
EFP: Here my ‘raffes! (EFP-speak for her little family of Giraffes – Mommy, Daddy, Baby)
Mom: Love the ‘raffes!
EFP: I no go to school (childcare) today. I go work with Mommy!
Mom: I wish! Work has no crayons, paint or snacks!
(dressing of child continues – clothes, shoes making style choice can take 5 minutes, hair)
EFP: I bring mine crayons, paint and snacks – plus Elmos, ‘raffes and kitties (our two formerly feral totally house-bound cats who each weigh at least 15 lbs!)
Mom: That does sound like a lot of fun! I think the kitties need to stay home and you need to go to school.
EFP: Yea, I play with Kayee!!
7:30 AM
Mom: OK, let’s get a snack to share at school!
EFP: I bring Elmos (Mommy, Daddy, Baby and Big Bro (AAW))
Mom: One Elmo can go to school
EFP: No! Bring daddy Elmo, mommy Elmo, baby Elmo – bro Elmo stay home (figures!)
Mom: EFP –lets get your snack and pick one Elmo to bring
EFP: I want ice-pop
Repeat x10
7:45 AM
Arrive at Childcare center
EFP: I need yellow leaf
Mom: Hmm… I am not sure I can reach the leaves that are left!
EFP: I need yellow leaf
Mom: Yes, I know you want a yellow leaf, but they are all so high!
EFP: I need yellow leaf
Mom: (Trudges through mud in work shoes and jumps to tear two yellow leafs off tree) Here you go Boogie!
EFP: I need red leaf!
Mom: I will race you into school!!!!!!
EFP: I no race I need red leaf….
Mom: Decides to send EFP to work and attend daycare herself!!!!!!
In a nutshell this is a small slice of my life. When we return from anywhere EFP will absolutely insist about a 100 times that her “coat needs to be off” before I have even removed the key from the door, got second foot over threshold or even managed to put the ton-o-mommy-bags down!! No joke – this part about toddlers is not that much fun – except for the laughs later! I wish I knew more ways to distract her from the endless repetition! DH just gives up and in immediately (now wonder they love their daddies so!)
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