Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Typical Toddler Morning or Why I am never on time for anything anymore!

7:00 AM

EFP: TV on please? (limited to one hour of TV per day)

DH: Okay let me get your milk

EFP: TV on please?

DH: Yes, I hear you

EFP: I want TV on please. No milk, juice! (running battle – the kid is positively juice crazy – actually 50% white grape and 50% water)

EFP: TV on please

EFP: I want TV on please!!

EFP: (shouting) TV ON PLEASE!!!!!

DH: OK! TV goes on (actually Little Einsteins DVD - talk about TV on DEMAND!)

7:02 AM

EFP: I have an ice-pop please? (note: see juice note – this is then poured into pop mold and frozen)

DH: Daddy is fixing some cheerios and milk.

EFP: I have an ice-pop please?

DH: EFP, I am fixing your cereal – would you like peanut butter on toast instead?

EFP: I have an ice-pop!

DH: EFP, you can not have an ice-pop for breakfast!

EFP: I want an ice-pop.

EFP: I want an ice-pop

EFP: I want an ice-pop

EFP: Have ice-pop please

DH: EFP, here is your cereal (toast w/pb, waffles, French toast sticks, eggs, etc.)

EFP: Thank you Daddy – have an ice-pop please.

DH: Here! Have the *$^@*^$@&#@) ice-pop (whisper: don’t tell Mommy!)

7:04 AM

Mom: Good morning boogie!! What’s that?

EFP: Daddy have me ice-pop!

Mom: Hmmmm

Mom: Can you eat your toast w/pb too?

EFP: Yes Mommy. I have an Ice-pop?

Mom: Please eat your toast – you just had an ice-pop!

EFP: I have an ice-pop please?

Mom: EFP, Daddy gave you an ice-pop, you need to eat your toast!

EFP: I want Daddy!

EFP: I want Daddy!

EFP: I want Daddy!

EFP: I want Daddy!

EFP: I want Daddy!

EFP: Daddy give me ice-pop!!

Mom: Of course he did!

(Mutter rude things to self while walking away)

7:06 AM

Mom: Come here baby so I can change your diapie

EFP: No, No change diapie today!

Mom: Yes, it is time for clean diapie – come here so mommy can change it.

Dream Sequence

EFP: Right away mommy! I know you only want me to be clean and healthy and that you live to change my stinky diapie - so I will be right there!


EFP: NO!! No change diapie now!

Mom: OK – goes and gets baby deposits on changing pad (engage in tickling and funny voice)

EFP: Here my ‘raffes! (EFP-speak for her little family of Giraffes – Mommy, Daddy, Baby)

Mom: Love the ‘raffes!

EFP: I no go to school (childcare) today. I go work with Mommy!

Mom: I wish! Work has no crayons, paint or snacks!

(dressing of child continues – clothes, shoes making style choice can take 5 minutes, hair)

EFP: I bring mine crayons, paint and snacks – plus Elmos, ‘raffes and kitties (our two formerly feral totally house-bound cats who each weigh at least 15 lbs!)

Mom: That does sound like a lot of fun! I think the kitties need to stay home and you need to go to school.

EFP: Yea, I play with Kayee!!

7:30 AM

Mom: OK, let’s get a snack to share at school!

EFP: I bring Elmos (Mommy, Daddy, Baby and Big Bro (AAW))

Mom: One Elmo can go to school

EFP: No! Bring daddy Elmo, mommy Elmo, baby Elmo – bro Elmo stay home (figures!)

Mom: EFP –lets get your snack and pick one Elmo to bring

EFP: I want ice-pop

Repeat x10

7:45 AM

Arrive at Childcare center

EFP: I need yellow leaf

Mom: Hmm… I am not sure I can reach the leaves that are left!

EFP: I need yellow leaf

Mom: Yes, I know you want a yellow leaf, but they are all so high!

EFP: I need yellow leaf

Mom: (Trudges through mud in work shoes and jumps to tear two yellow leafs off tree) Here you go Boogie!

EFP: I need red leaf!

Mom: I will race you into school!!!!!!

EFP: I no race I need red leaf….

Mom: Decides to send EFP to work and attend daycare herself!!!!!!

In a nutshell this is a small slice of my life. When we return from anywhere EFP will absolutely insist about a 100 times that her “coat needs to be off” before I have even removed the key from the door, got second foot over threshold or even managed to put the ton-o-mommy-bags down!! No joke – this part about toddlers is not that much fun – except for the laughs later! I wish I knew more ways to distract her from the endless repetition! DH just gives up and in immediately (now wonder they love their daddies so!)


Beverly said...

Oh my you are in my world. Glenys repeats things until I answer her no matter what I happen to be asking her to do. It drives me bat Sh*t crazy. I end up giving in like EFP's daddy.


Julie said...

This is my life. Are you sure you aren't in my house every minute of every day? Oh, pray for patience for all of us in toddler world!

chloesmama said...

We are just at the beginnings of this phase...all I hear is "purple cup" 10,000 times every time Chloe wants a drink. I like reading your blog and seeing what's in store--most of the time, anyway! :)

Mom To Six said...

Dh and I sat here cracking up while reading this! Definitely our life. Toooo funny! Thanks for sharing.

Amy said...

I used to be on time for everything, but not anymore! Just trying to get both of us ready can take forever. What a beautiful girl you have :)

M3 said...

Oh man, I think you just scripted our mornings. And our returns with the "off shoes" and "off coat" repeated about 200 times from the car to the house. We'll all laugh about this in a few years, right?

Ladyblog said...

I just can't get over how much our girls look alike! So, of course I think EFP is just adorable.

"MissMeliss" said...

I realize I will regret saying this when my Lil M gets big enough to do all this... but that was HYSTERICAL!!! OMG, I laughed out loud. :) Thank you for sharing.

My little fussy pants wouldn't go to sleep without Mama tonight...


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