Thursday, July 19, 2007


I am teaching a summer course here on campus about Gender & Work and we were talking about gender stereotypes. One of the students said that "people don't really want to see men cry..." I replied I would have been very hurt if my DH had not cried on one or two occasions in our life together. Our marriage and February 20, 2006 when a woman from the orphanage placed our darling girl in our arms for the first time. There were plenty of tears to go around - Mamas and Babas! I was thinking also that there were at least two occasions I could think of in my lifetime where I had seen groups of men crying openly in the street. One I have seen in film since I was less that a year old and the other well... I think there were plenty of people of whatever gender crying where ever they were. It would have seemed somehow too inappropriate to not cry on that terrible day.

It is weird to think I will someday have to explain 9-11 to my daughter just as my own mother explained JFK's assasination to me. To think that this is now a part of our collective history and as such EFP will need to understand that point in time - hard to imagine since I still do not really understand it either. I got to thinking because last night after putting her to bed for the night I turned on the TV and was stunned to see a scene quite reminiscent of 9-11. NYC was ablaze with sirens, flashing lights and regular broadcasting was interrupted. Thankfully - it was a steam pipe explosion and though there were casualties they were relatively few. The city is all in an uproar and on top of that it had already been a very bad day for many. The torrential rain and thunder/lightening brought traffic to a complete standstill and many people never made it to work, cars were flooded and I know for a fact that there was not a rental car available for 100 miles anywhere near NYC.


Not far from where we live a tornado touched down. Hmph! It is all too easy to forget the precarious nature of human life. How seemingly small events or large can impact us in ways we are not prepared. Counting myslef lucky to have merely been a bystander in the annals of history seems quite enough for me. I can handle brushing with greatness from a safe distance.

Life goes on here much as usual. My car is fixed and back at home. We are still struggling some with separation anxiety at daycare drop off and yesterday EFP declared "I no like school" but then ran up the path and happily shared snack with her two favorite friends J & K. We had one more nasty bite incident and while I do feel sorry for the child who is the biter - I am not going to allow my child to be victimized by another. We had stated in no uncertain terms that our child is not be be put at risk for another bite/scratch from this kid. I know that toddlers are physical and that EFP can get pushy - so when she is in it with any other child it is not a problem and they do teach good skills for dealing with this. No, this is simply a child who will get up from playing, walk across the room and try to bite a chunk out of my daughter for no earthly reason. The child in question is now on one-on-one restriction and the next step is out the door. I am by no means the sort of mother who will swear that her child is never at fault or that it is impossible for her to misbehave... quite the contrary!! I do see that she needs limits and discipline with frustration. She has hit a kitty and received an immediate time out. I mean we only have three big rules... no hitting, no throwing (except balls) and no meaness to kitties. That is it for now. EFP and her friend J are like sibs already they are always at each other with toys or activities - but they are just as likely to hug and kiss as push and shove. This other situation is nothing like that. I am still rather furious.


On other fronts things continue much the same. We are getting excited about our upcoming vacation and looking forward to some much needed rest and relaxation. Hope everyone is enjoying their summer and getting the chance to recreate and recuperate.

1 comment:

amy said...

What a post! I love the pics and hope you have a great vacation!

Men crying? Mu hubby was my fiance on 9/11 and I remember tears pouring down his face. I imagine we will both happy tears when LynnMarie is placed in our arms

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