Zero Hour.......

In a few hours (too few!) we enter the hospital so our son can have his two required procedures. I am so anxious... and then I am so grateful to be feeling this way... grateful that our rocky start has completely disintegrated into a most enjoyable and loving relationship with our little guy. I know if I didn't love this child as much as I do that I would not be so anxious now... funny how that works.

He has had a day and a half of pre-school and he is in his element! He is so cooperative (still thinking it is temporary!) and sweet (permanent!) that his teachers adore him and the other kids are so accepting and kind that he just loves being there.... so of course we are not sending him tomorrow... ugh. I know in my head that this is right - we were so fortunate to get this spot (otherwise it would be July or August!) and have his surgery so quickly... I keep reminding myself (and others have also reminded me) that he had his first two surgeries in China with NO pain meds, no anxious Mommy & Daddy, no top Docs, no kind nurses (though I am sure there must have been some - but I work where we are getting our son's surgery - I figure that collegiality will count for a little something.....) and certainly no goofy little sister who will be so sad tomorrow - but happy to cheer him up when he gets home!

I know that even during our rocky start - I still held tight to the vision I had of that smiling little boy that I just wanted to hug and love..... I am still doing that but to THE BOY - and my vision was true - he really is the sweetest and most charming little guy... so if you have a second, spare a happy (healing) thought for our little son who has already been through so very much to get this far.... and a thought for his anxious parents, and all those who are in our corner... cheering us on. It is going to be a rough couple of days...