Monday, March 17, 2008

Now we are four!

We were given a "surprise" when we landed in LanZhou - the children were arriving at the Hotel in short order!! Not really so much of a surprise - but the problem was that there was no time to prepare ourselves or get anything ready thanks to new regulations. I won't/can't get into it now but it was a considerable pain in our buttkisses! We had a mix up at the hotel and so we are LITERALLY in the "presidential" suite - because we were supposed to have a suite or two connecting rooms (absolutely necessary as it turns out) and they did not have any - so the two "adjoining rooms" were a hallway away - so here we are with a Sauna(with hot rocks - not the fake kind), bidet, 1.5 baths, 3 couches, a king-size bed and two large screen TVS (If I don't remember to take pics of this - shoot me!) SO we had problems immediately and still had to get down to get room straight and we met our son in a frenzy of activity - but in a way it made it a little easier. He was totally overwhelmed and upset - though he did not cry then. He is so small that nothing I brought fit at all. I only have a shirt and a pair of shorts - so we are shortly to go out to buy some clothes because the clothing I have him in is causing us no end of trouble with the "LanZhou Granny Clothing Police Patrol). EFP has been sick for a few days now.. more on that later. I will be seeking a new Pediatrician IMMEDIATELY we return - I welcome recommendations!! She has been sort of miserable except for when she is not. She enjoyed the touring somewhat - liked the Ming Tombs quite a bit and really would have liked the Great Wall - but it was so windy that we really worried she might blow away. I think the less said about our hotel in Beijing the better.

We had to go immediately from "gotcha" to the photo place and the boy started crying - or howling actually. His will be the worst adoption certificate picture ever I am sure. I looked none too happy myself - since I have not eaten or slept properly since the night before we left NY nor could I pack makeup in carryon so I am au natural pretty much. He perked up a bit at KFC (where everything is spicy except the fish - and the fish was too grey for my palate) and really enjoyed the mashed potatoes with gravy. EFP was happy to see nuggets and she was properly awed by her first step into a fast food place (how will I convince her there is no KFC or McD in USA?) We stopped at a nearby department store and purchased minimal necessities: juice, water, crackers etc. and that is when the howling (think feral wild animal stranded on strange planet and you may be able to imagine the sound) started. It did not stop for 6 hours. I think the less said about our first night the better... but I owe my ever-patient sister a boat-load of thanks for talking me down from the ledge.

EBB arrived with a cold - big surprise - and so I gave him a little medicine to help him breathe and after he was worn out from howling he slept. He seemed sort of happy to see me this morning.. that was a bonus. DH is really taking him in hand. He had to shower him this morning (we have no bath - I mean really a luxury suite in the best hotel in LanZhou has NO Jacuzzi??? What's up with that?) as he was quite layered in dirt - I think during the winter the kids here are washed from the waist up only - perhaps till spring. Anyway - that business taken care of - we found the first smile of sorts when he was handed his brand new undies and other clothes and that was a rapprochement of sorts. He has also taken to a little stuffed wind up Panda that EFP gave him at gotcha - so I am now in charge of 1 kitty, 1 giraffe, 2 panda bears, and a DVD player with all the Dora videos ever made. DH admitted today that this boy is his son - honestly they are two of a kind! Kind and helpful as soon as you tell them how to be!! LOL They even kind of walk the same - sort of like two sumo wrestlers preparing to do battle. With EFP so under the weather we have switched from our intent and DH is really trying to assume care and feeding of our new child while I try to keep our first from totally losing it.

At breakfast - I had a few weak moments and cried (in public with our guide) thinking I have really messed up my family (sound familiar?) EFP was sound asleep in the giant but very low to the ground chair and then EBB saw what DH had put on his plate and he actually smiled and said Xie Xie!! breakthrough moment 2!! It has been all up from there. EFP has begun to feel a little better (one of the new moms in our group - is a pediatric nurse, man are we lucky!! She has declared that EFP will probably be fine till GZ and I have, on her recommendation as well as our temporary new pediatrician's rec started the Amoxicillin.) I had some dark hours over the last day or so - and so if I have been quiet - well now you know all there is.

We had the official adoption today and all went well - pens and red bags flying. We have asked for permission to travel to Tian Shui - and were denied. I will not say more about this at this time - but when we are away I can expand. We are trying to decide if it makes sense to go there (4 hours each way) anyway - and the orphanage director said he will show us around - but we may not see the orphanage. We are trying to decide if EFP will be well enough - and DH is thinking perhaps he will travel with our son. I know how important it will be.. we should see the pics from the two cameras we sent today or tomorrow. EFP was doing a bit better - so the two of them have been playing nicely. He is imitating play - so I drew a sun and some mountains on a little magna doodle (and he erased mine and drew his!) things are definitely looking up!

When EFP isn't feeling too poorly or jealous she is actually quite sweet to him and he is sort of admiring and teasing with her. I am afraid we will have a hard time convincing anyone that he is not her age and that we were looking for virtual twins! They are the same height but he outweighs her by at least 10 lbs. Our son is no stranger to the dinner table (or lunch or breakfast or snack for that matter!) He is speaking more now and is calling us Mama, Baba and Mei Mei.. we have so far tried out a few names and I will let you know which combo we choose. I am leaning toward Chance for now. He is a little tiger (and I suspect I knew what I was doing when I gave him the EBB just as I did when I named EFP! I am definitely staff!) and while I am still
trying to navigate being a Mom to two children they are seeming not to mind my mistakes for the moment.

I can not post pictures right now - as I am on the computer in our suite and I don't want to put pics on here - but I will try to post some pics later. We have a great travel group and they have taken some better than my DH has managed - and thank you so much for NOT pointing out that the teapot was pouring ON MY HEAD! That was not intentional - that is my DH!

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Missy,
Reading your intitial moments brought back all of my memories of our trip. Glad to hear that it is getting better and smiles are coming :) Will try to give you a call. Hope that EFP starts to feel better with the meds in her. Can't wait for the pictures.
hugs all around! vicki and crew

Anonymous said...

Hi Familia of 4!!

Soo happy to hear that things are looking a little bit brighter - you've all been through so many changes. Sounds as if Baba is doing a fantastic job too and I'm so happy that all of you are together. We are all thinking of you and hoping that EFP starts feeling much, much better. Will also call you soon. Can't wait to see you as a family of 4.

Hugs and kisses, Kristen

Tracy said...

Congratulations! I think we all wonder if we've made a mistake in the beginning (our time in Vietnam was a nightmare in a lot of ways). It does get better and how cool that your husband is stepping up so quickly. I hope you are able to enjoy some of your time in China and that beautiful room you have!

Tracy

Kristen F said...

Whew! Do you need a hug or what??! Sending one across the world this time! Hope EFP feels better & I'm sure things will get better everyday with EBB (Cant believe he is so small!). Guangzhou & HK will be so much fun....Congrats on your new son & best wishes to the whole family!
Kristen in CT

Anonymous said...

I miss you and I am so happy that things are working out a little bit better for you now. I cant believe the room upgrade(only you) what luck!!! But I cant wait to see more pics of the family together.I hope things continue to look up for you and I cant wait until you return!!! Love Ya Lanna

Cath,Mark,Addie said...

Sending hugs and all positive energy your way! Congratulations and much love from us all.

Monica said...

Can't wait to see the photos to come!

Reading this post had me reliving my own experiences during our three "gotcha" time periods. It sounds like you are handling all the stress very well. I know what it is to experience melt-down in China...been there, done that! The combination of sleep deprivation and non-stop howling and major foul-ups with technical things (like hotel reservations--had that problem too!) and just general chaos and stress is enough to send even the most seasoned parent into complete melt-down...at least us, moms! My husband knows to EXPECT melt-down out of me at some point near the end of our journey...it is just an integral part of the international adoption experience! Anyway, I am so glad your sister was able to talk you down off the ledge!

Can't wait to see photos of EBB and EFP together!!!

(I, could identify, too, with the horror of that insidious fear "have I ruined our family?". When we adopted our son (age six at "gotcha" time) it was ROUGH for the first YEAR...I mean REALLY ROUGH...but, he is a perfect fit for us, and we for him, now (three and a half years later). It gets better. (Sometimes it gets WORSE first, though.) Anyway, try to avoid those ledges!

~Monica

Anonymous said...

Congratulation Missy & Greg!!!!
So happy to hear things are getting better. The kids sound like they are doing great. We send our love, hugs & kisses. We can't wait to see pictures.
All our love & best wishes,
Lauren,Larry,Leigha,Lily & Lonni

JoAnn in NJ said...

Oh, Poor Family!
Poor EFP for being sick and poor EBB for being upset.

I bet you thought that it was going to be easier to adopt an older child who knew what was happening.

Poor Missy and Greg! I feel for you, but as you said...it can only get better!

Wish I could hold your hand and make it all better...but sending all good thoughts your way my dear Friend!

I can't believe EBB is so tiny! Wow....

Hugs and love!
JoAnn

Mommy to Three said...

Sending a big Arkansans Hug to you! It does get better! Remember my first week with Maggie? Both of us cried for the entire week. Our adoption photo was of Maggie and I crying and Rich looking like he was a deer caught in headlights.
xoxoxoxo,
Jane

ReelMom said...

Not sure if Missy is able to actually see her blog...if not I'll read her all the comments when I speak to her next. I know they will help, the support is greatly appreciated! I can't wait to see the pictures too. Her Sissy....Colleen

Michele said...

Hi Missy,
I wish that you could feel my hugs via internet. We talked about this scenario and I know you were as prepared for it as possible. You and G are GREAT parents and you will give BOTH of you kiddos what they need. Believe me, I have thought a time of two..."what have I done to my family." It may not be the last time you feel like that, but you know you have a whole crew of us who can validate and relate to your feeelings. I love our pediatirian and they are open 7 days too...a bonus. Not far from you. We'll talk when you get home about that. Hope to talk to you soon!!!!!! Give Baba a pat on the back. He and your son sound like they are going to be a great duo!!! Just as father and son should be. I am also so happy that you have such a great sister that she was able to calm your fears from so far away!! We may not be there in person, but we are cetainly with you in spirit!!

Love and GREAT BIG HUGS,
Michele, Emily and Alyssa

Kelly said...

Hi Missy,

Hang in there! I bet if we all fessed up there are many of us who spent time miserable and crying in China. I spent an hour crying in the bathroom of the Gloria Hotel! My DH thought I lost my mind.

Looking forward to seeing pics.

Kelly

Margaret said...

Congrats on becoming a family of four! It sounds like you got off to a bumpy start....but we did to. Those initial days are shocking. Soon the kids will be over their illnesses and you will all start to get cozy together. The children will be inseparable! (((hugs))) to you all!

David and Lisa said...

Congrats!!! We are sending big hugs your way!!! Going from one to two was a huge adjustment ( and still is at times) Hope EFP feels better soon!!
Hugs- Lisa , Dave, Jordyn and Zoe

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