Sunday, December 12, 2010

Well what have we here?

After a morning of the worst tantrums anyone on two continents has ever seen.. Saturday evening, and believe me I wish I knew what affected the change, we saw again the sweet little imp that is ESP's potentially sweet personality.

 She raged all morning into breakfast.. threw herself on the floor, banged her head on the wall, etc. Then out in public - though (and this is so interesting) she was calm as can be during the medicals - but raged when I tried to take her to lunch.. go figure.  She threw a fit on the street at Shamian Island so bad she banged her head on the concrete sidewalk... and had to be physically wrestled into a stroller (which, lets face it I needed at that point so no bargaining!)  to keep her from giving herself a concussion or worse. It was a sight actually. She was subdued during lunch...  you wouldn't think a tiny creature weighing less than 30lbs soaking wet could cause such an uproar but she does. She absolutely can't stand that I keep sticking around and making her do things.. like wash, dress (in all new clothes) shop, eat, sleep, brush teeth, and put up with me.  Hard to believe I could be so mean!! 

Lauren and Luke are doing really well - we did make it over to the island and had a great lunch at Cow and Bridge..

In the meantime we left to go to Yun Tai Park (botanical gardens) and then dim sum lunch - she did ok but even the sight of me gets her worked up (can I say I can't wait to go home and be able to hand her to Daddy for a bit! I feel like my arms and fingers are broken from grabbing her and holding her while she rages.) and the tantrums start anew. When we left the dim sum place I had hoped to go to the pearl and jade market but she was freaking out when we left the restaurant and the streets were mobbed with people - we could hardly get outside the restaurant - so we didn't go shopping just went back to the hotel where she refused to get off the bus. I forced her to sit in the stroller and go to Starbucks.. and she was so outrageous that a nice British women told me to go sit down and she bought me a latte! I really must look pathetic.. this 29 lb child is beating the crap out of me. I honestly am wondering if there IS something wrong with her. I mean - she can rage for HOURS on end... then yell at me as if I were the one causing all the trouble!!  I have to restrain her from hurting herself and it is really taking a toll on my body - and I am sure hers. She is so thin and small I worry the way she flings herself around and judging from the  marks on her  -- she is no stranger to boo boos!! Honestly - I am just worn down. I want to get on a plane and go home to my husband and children and frankly - whether or not she gets on the plane is starting to be immaterial. I cannot imagine her raging for 13.5 hours on a plane.. I really can't. I don't even really want to.

This time is so different from the others.. I mean sure, EBB was a tough nut to crack and it took a while for it not to be hard.. but this is one tough cookie.   The guide, Susan, came to my room after I put in a sort of frantic call.. and had a LONG talk with her. She does not want to go back to the orphanage - she does want to go home with me.. but she is confused, upset and doesn't really understand what is happening.  She is concerned about her foster parents.. and didn't know they were closing their home to more children after the last one leaves.  So now, after the long and heartfelt chat - she is her charming self again. She is really quite smart and adorable.. if only she would stay that way for longer then a few moments. 

1 comment:

lpiccoli said...

Missy, I know this must be taking a toll on you. Just think about how much better things will be when you finally get home, and you can sleep in your bed, eat American food....right now she is feeling the same way you are...she misses the things that are familiar to her...I know you know, and I know it is still hard, no matter what we tell you. Hang in there my friend. You are a great Mommy, and she will realize it very soon.

Hugs from GA,

Laura - your BFF (bathroom friend forever) ;)

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