Ribbit Ribbit

The Empress at play in the fields of the living room.

Yes, that is a frog voice - that is, that is what I sound like!! Somehow it started Friday and has only gotten worse since. I have no voice whatsoever... now before anyone starts jumping for joy - or alerting the media.. I am fairly certain this is temporary and related to a whopper of another bout with chronic sinusitis. REALLY annoying. I have not been able to speak much more than a whisper. EFP thinks it is funny - but has been sad that I can not manage her special song... she sings it for me though - which is actually better. Only a child could think I sing well anyway!

So as I croak along.. it remains to be seen how long this bout will last!!

Lingering on sadness....

I was trying so hard not to do this. Not to have to pour out the grief here. It has been a sad week for all of us - but especially for students. I can hardly believe it has happened. All across college and university campuses everywhere = administrators are trying to figure out how to prevent this horror, students are trying NOT to picture themselves in the same situation and parents are sleeping less. There is something that may not be 100% evident to those not lucky enough to work with college students - it is easy to love them. I love teaching my students... having them traipse in and out of my office with their problems, dilemmas and other queries more mundane (will that be on the final?). I love them though - how can one not? They are adults in the making full of suppositions and opinions and eagerly looking forward to the day we constantly tell them to put off for as long as possible. College is the last good time, right? Only not this week. Not for those Virginia kids or any of us who can comprehend that yet another space has been violated. 32 Innocent souls and one poor troubled young man. How do we account for that?

I have been inexplicably mired in sadness - more so than I would normally be. Ah, just another one of the perks of being a mom. In those kids - I see my own child. Do I start praying now - that I will continue to feel that I can allow her the freedom to go "away" to college if she wishes? Will this be one of the reasons I provide for why that is not a good idea? Will I think on the tears of the parents who can never argue with or see their baby again when I schedule our college tours? Can I overcome the fear to let her go where she feels she should go... or will these hours color my decision.

It is all so sad. I feel somehow we are responsible for this crazy world we have forced our young people to deal with. That some great oversight on our part has led to this horribly altered world where something as simple as taking a class can be ended tragically. So many will think they understand or can blame - but just like all parents colleges also have to balance protection with freedoms, concern with safety. Our students are adults - and deserve the respect and autonomy that they have earned - but they are still our children and they deserve our caring.

I do hope that the families and friends of those who are effected by this terrible ordeal will know that there are people all over the world who are thinking of them, praying for them and wishing them some solace in this cruel event. Hokies - you have my deepest sympathies.

Find out how you can help!

Win the fight against Lupus. Join me and other concerned families as we participate in the Walk to Cure Lupus We hope to raise awareness and the funds to aid in the research for an end to this debilitating disease. One of our own FCC LI families is dealing with this right now and so we come together to do what we can to help! Please consider helping in some way - no matter how small. Thanks a bunch!

MY Amazing Sister!

Made this amazing Irish Step Dancing Solo Dress for an American Girl doll to be raffled off to support the Drumcliffe School of Irish Dance - Binghamton Travel Fund where my exceptionally talented niece is in training. The raffle will raise money to send the dancers who qualify to the world competition in Ireland.

Can you believe that this is a on-of-a-kind handmade? I think it is gorgeous makes me want to strap on some gillies and get hoofing! So I am giving you a link to my sister if you want more information, would like to place an order for your AG doll loving girl or whatever! My sister is also making solo dresses for real girls! A while ago I posted a picture of the dress she made for my neice - it is truly beautiful a real work of art. As is my niece - who is also a work of art homemade by my sister (well and her DH) and even prettier than the dress! I would love for any of my Irish Dance enthusiasts to give a shout out to my sister and compliment her hard work! I love ya sis!

Post Rabbit Bliss

Welcome Caroline Grace - 8 lbs 14 oz 4/5/07 at 9:54 AM!! Our newest family member and EFP's Cousin.

We had a very quiet holiday weekend. EFP and I were both recovering from the mysterious illness that had us both coughing and choking and in general being miserable. She is still coughing and I am still sick - but we are both on the mend on some level. Since no one was available due in part to aforementioned welcome arrival we decided to skip Easter entirely. It was actually not so bad, though at the last minute I was missing roasted Lamb and Potatos I did not miss the mess or anything else. I also missed our family company - but again we were so under the weather that I really didn't mind being home all day. I started work on another blanket at EFP's request since she was rather upset that the one I have just completed was not for her. :-(

EFP also decided she wanted a purple one - which is ironic since my very first blanket was purple and was originally for her but went to a different baby since our wait was so long and unpredictable. An identical blanket actually got misdirected/taken by the postal service on route to China for a friend. I still have to replace that blanket but as usual I am behind in maki g blankets so I don't know when I will finish up and get back to that one. Too bad it is impossible to knit two at the same time...

I am back at work after travel and sick time... still feel kinda yucky but I have so much to do I really needed to get back into the office. Feeling bad also for the waiting families out there - the news never seems to be good these days. Apparently - only two days of LIDs recieved referrals in this latest batch. At that rate it really will be three years for us. I am REALLY ok with it.. but I know there are some broken hearted and despairing parents. I wish they could know what I know... I was SO one of them while we were waiting and our wait lengthened. I was angry, disbelieving, anxious, afraid and despairing of ever becoming a mother - on this side of things I still can remember how it felt but the fact is that just as all those who went before me had said it really does become a faded memory after you are home and living life with a child. I know that the benefit of adopting again after the first is the feeling of (somewhat) certainlity that this road will end with a child and that the happiness will allow us to separate the bad feelings from the good. I feel this journey in such a different way than it was the first time. I still feel bad for those waiting families and wish they could believe it will all be ok in time. Perhaps the most valuable lesson for me was that patience really is it's own reward. Perhaps I am able to be more patient this time... for EFP's sake and that of our second child, I sincerely hope so!!

WAAAAHHH!!!

I am writing tonight from my hotel room in Austin Texas. I miss my little one so much it is a physical ache. Who knew this would happen? She and her daddy are doing great - so far she asks for me but is able to be distracted. Daycare says she is doing great - had a little melt down when another Mommy arrived and I guess she realized that I had not dropped her off.. it is so hard to be so far away!

I heard a speaker today who introduced herself by saying she had 7 children!! And oddly everyone clapped for her.. me loudest of all because I have one and it is hard to manage being a professional and Mom. She has a successful career and apparently 7 wonderful children and 2 granchildren. Mom is definitely the harder job. In some ways my feminist side says... why do they have to mention the children when presenting a professional women do they routinely do that when introducing impressive men? No - but then I realize that it is a major accomplishment to have both and we all know that many Moms who work do the lion's share of the child and home care so it takes a really amazing woman to do it well and succeed at either. Someday I hope someone introduces me and remembers that I am a Mom... as well as a professional.

But I can't write more - I miss my baby too much. Can not wait to get home and see her little face - give her big hugs. I hope she is not like the cats who prefer to just ignore me when I get home from a trip of this length. Tomorrow I will have a break so I can get a little shopping in.. the shop here at the Hyatt has a ton of Hello K*tty things so I may dive into that. I am trying not to succumb to whatever it is that is kicking me - I skipped the entertainment this evening so I could rest up a bit. What a whimp. But I do not want to get home to just collaps in a heap!!
So that is all the news.. continue to enjoy the pics til I can post some more - I am hoping for some first real haircut pics soon!!

The cutest 2 year old in the universe!

More Birthday Weekend Pics

Weird new obsession with babuschkas!


EFP discovers it is fun to ride around chaos!

Playing inside a big house at the party place!

Happy Birthday EFP & DTC!!!!!!

EFP Claps to the birthday song - sung in her honor!

Cupcakes are a big hit!

YUM! Frosting!

If you look closely you will see that EFP is munching on Calamari - no joke this kid can eat!!

Happy Birthday in Italian - La Dulce Vita!

Sorry this is a little late - the hoopla has taken over and we are so busy trying to figure out how to celebrate TWO such momentous occasions - we were late in posting!

So - without further ado - pics from the Imperial Birthday Celebration - parts I and II. First a little party at daycare and then a family celebration at EFP's favorite bite out - Carraba's. We were also celebrating the Official Launching of Baby Project 2! We are DTC 3/23 with our dear friends again and we should hear something any 2 or 3 years now... seriously the wait is incredibly long! Which is ok with us... so don't expect any updates or more news.. there will be none - until there is!

The birthday went fine - we also attended the party of EFP's good friend and she had a blast. But I digress - let the pics speak for themselves.. enjoy and yes Sissy I am sorry I made you wait!!!

EFP's pox

Yes - it's true. My baby has the pox. As you can see it is quite serious as the poxes are very large. All of a sudden they started appearing on her face. I grew concerned because she has not been feeling well all week. She was kept home on Friday because she manifested a fever, runny nose, and bad cough - but I never dreamed it would come to this!

She got a hold of the stickers and now it is sticker pox every day. Yesterday is was smileys and today it was butterflies. I get the pox, daddy gets the pox and of course EFP gets the pox on her hands, arms and face. Tonight - she was done with dinner way before we were so we kept her busy with more stickers. We are braving our way through both the cold of the day and the terrible twos. And they are terrible. Every thing is "No! NO! NOOOOOO!" or "MINE!" but it doesn't usually last long and we are able to distract her. Time outs have begun in earnest. I don't like it - but I don't want to raise a child who knows no limits. Most of the time she is sweet and very very funny. She says tons of new words everyday and understands more and more. I suppose that is what the tantrums are about - know what she wants and not quite being able to either get it herself or convince mommy or daddy to get it for her. Like cookies for breakfast...

Other than that - we are hanging tight here. DH did not have to work today so we kept quiet here since it was not a good idea to go out with her sick and the roads unpredictable. I have been getting the photos ready to send with our paperwork - we are in the last stretch for our second adoption. Our dossier is at our agency and but for the photo complete - we should be DTC as planned on Friday 3/23. I am glad it is nearly over and will breathe a big sigh of relief when we are LID and finally in line for another child. This adoption is very different from our first - not that we are not every bit as delighted and happy, just that the anxiousness is removed and assuming we are indeed LID before the May 1 deadline, our chances are excellent for adding another amazing child are good. We think our next child will be a girl - though we have specified either gender as being fine and we did not request as young as possible - we asked for healthy one to three years - we did not request twins this time!

We are getting ready to celebrate EFP's 2nd birthday on Tuesday. Cupcakes and goodie bags for daycare and a quiet family party next weekend. We have decided to forgo the kiddie party for this year. I don't think she will mind - though she does seem to love a party - but I honestly can not see myself doing this for 2 yos. I think I will wait till she is older. We do still have to have some sort of baptism and party at some point... but chasing 2 yos around some loud place is just not my idea of a good time. But I digress. Still don't know what she is getting for the big 2 - but I think it might be a slide or kitchen or something like that. Those are her favorites at daycare and it would be nice to have something big for her to play with. We'll see I guess. All in all a busy week is ahead and then a trip.

Yup - Mommy has to leave town again for a few days... I will be more upset than she I think, but I do think there is some value in having her understand that although occasionally I leave - I ALWAYS come back (with a little T shirt) from wherever I have been. It is a little disconcerting to leave my baby - but I know she will be fine with DH and although he will have to adjust his routine a little it will keep hers the same and all should be fine for the 4 days I will be gone. I guess - I hope.

In like a lion - out like a Pig!!

Gong Xi Fa Cai! Happy New Year and Welcome Year of the Pig - FCC Style! We had a fabulous day Sunday welcoming in the Year of the Pig (or boar) and although I didn't get to sit much - enjoyed watching so many families celebrate their good fortune in becoming part of this community! What exuberance and joviality! I didn't get to take a lot of pictures but here is the jist of a highlight or two! Oh, and I won two raffles one for me and more for EFP... though technically I suppose they are really both for her! One was a generous gift cert for the Amazing Lori & Veronica's A family's Heart and the other an adorable stuffed "Neigh Neigh" for EFP. We saw bunches of friends.. again didn't get to hang much but it was nice seeing everyone for sure. We were ALL totally blown away by the Lion Dancers headed by some of Stony Brook University's students and our volunteers from the same - were just super!! All in all a very good day!

Last year at this time - we missed the party because we were in China and so did not get a chance to be part of the party. Well - this year certainly made up for it! We adored seeing our darling absolutely delighted with the Lion and not the least afraid of the loud drums.. and well we know my baby can eat and boy did she!! Noodles AND dumplings!! I can only hope that 4074/4075 will be as good to us as 4073/4074 were! Zai Jian!

Total Eclipse..... (Last in the Series)

First Total Lunar Eclipse in Three Years
March 3, 2007

And you thought I was talking about how my EFP totally eclipsed our life!!!??? Well - yes! One year ago today we returned home with our 19.5lb Spicy Girl from JiangXi! Never have I been so happy to be home as I was this time last year. I was sad to leave China but really happy to get home to my creature comforts and begin the process of becoming a family of three. It didn't happy right away - we had jet lag and sleep issues to get over but it DID happen. And this whole year has flown by so quickly. Tonight I had to open the suitcase that we purchased in GuangZhou to get one of the Chinese outfits we purchased for EFP to wear tomorrow at the big FCC-LI Chinese Lunar New Year celebration and it brought back such memories - just looking at the items. I did not buy enough. Thank goodness we are going back (some time in the next 3 years) so I can buy all the stuff I did not buy last time. More pearls, more jade, more clothes, more more. Less squeaky shoes! They really are annoying after a few hours!

Seriously - EFP is amazing, more each day. She is my heart's darling and such a fun little girl. She sings all the time, shaping up to be a great dancer and already has a fabulous sense of humor. Aside from being incredibly sweet and all, she really is charmer.

I can't write more - have to be up pre-crack o'dawn. More later with pics!

Big Decision

Well - we have decided to just wait wait wait. We had thought, indeed we had already discussed, that our next child would be a Waiting Child (WC) or Special Needs Child (SN) from China. Our agency's list came out and we did see two children we felt we would love to have as our family - but a small nagging little voice kept saying... it is too soon to add a child to our family. Even at one year (the possible time line for a WC) I just don't feel that EFP is ready to be a sibling to a big or a little. I know that kids get sibs sometimes within a year or two - but she is just really at the point where she accepts us totally and completely as her family. We are, on some level, the only parents she knows or remembers at this time. I can't imagine - given her propensity to cling and be really needy at times - how she would react with a child who needed my attention and invaded her space to some extent.

I am saddened on another level because I really like the idea of parenting a WC/SN who may not otherwise have a chance at a family. But I keep trying to remember that the timeline is not of my making - I was rushed to make the leap again and honestly at times I feel all the weight of this decision on our life, pocketbook and heart. While I know that we very much want a second child and I know there will be room (in our hearts and home) for a second - at this moment I truly feel that EFP needs all our attention and love just for herself for a while longer and I need more experience as a Mom before I can do this again.

There is so much about being a Mom that you just can't know until it happens - no way to prepare for the way your whole body reacts when the phone rings and it's the daycare calling. Or when you hear something unusual and in your mind your child is in some dire straits that you can only barely imagine. I don't know that this ever goes away - though I hear that at some point you do get to sleep through the night without interruptions by night terrors or erupting molars/canines! In short I am just not ready to contemplate another child. Of course I have also had my heart broken recently over a child and so it may be that I need to have some time to deal with how that has effected my willingness to embrace another child. I know that 2 years (maybe three!) will allow us the time we need to resolve some of this and be those anxiously waiting parents we have in us!! We really felt that this new list would be our last chance - as our agency will not allow us to switch after our Dossier has been logged in for six months. I have to say there were quite a few children who we would have liked to wait for.. and I already know that both of them are being considered by more than one family so they will be united with forever families!!

So with that in mind we are preparing to be DTC early in March and wait the long wait... I am thinking that we may not see a referral until early in 2010! Can you imagine? But if things continue at the present pace of 1/2 a month of Dossiers being referred each month - well I can (and do!) do the math and that is when our referral should arrive. Another plus is that my darling would be nearly ready for Kindergarten by 2010 and so we will reduce the number of months that we will have two in daycare - yay! So here's to the long wait and keeping our minds off of it!

This just in!!!

Our 171H will arrive Shortly! Probably Monday or Tuesday! Woo Hoo!! I would snoopy dance - but I will save that for the actual arrival!!! I spoke with USCIS this morning during the allotted call-in period and that is what I was told by the very kind person who answered. I even was grated a return call when the answer turned out not the be that simple!

Our dossier is being certified and authenticated as we speak and now we wait for this one piece of paper and then it is DTC baby!! :-)

One Year Ago Today.... (Part III of a Multipart Series)

First site of EFP with Nanny

EFP is our baby!

February 20, 2007 - One year to the day!
Happy Forever Family Day my Little Love!!

One BIG year ago today – the center of my universe changed. I went from being consumed by the adoption of a child to the MOTHER of THIS CHILD! It was and is the best day of my life save, perhaps, the day I married my DH. In true Snoopy fashion here goes!

It was a dark and stormy day.. No, it really was. The weather was terrible in NanChang the provincial capital of JiangXi in the People’s Republic of China. But we braved the vertical rain and 30 degree weather to reach the Civil Affairs Office for our first site of EFP. Suddenly – there she was sitting in the lap of one of the Nannies. She looked exactly the same as her referral picture and so healthy – rosy cheeks (from the 10 layers of clothes she was wearing) and bright eyes. I recognized her immediately and started to cry – when I realized I should not cry I should take pictures. I did.

I can’t really describe the moment when they called our name and after checking our passports, handed our baby to us. OUR BABY! After all those months and months of agonizing doubt and self criticism. Feeling guilty for past mistakes or different choices and what did it matter in that moment – not a bit. EFP looked up at me, patted my face, smiled and then pushed her 19.5 lbs self onto me and snuggled right. I wanted to kiss and hug her…run away from the office and have her all to myself to tell her all the things I had saved up to tell my daughter.... but I settled for dangling the (magic!) plastic keys in front of her and she busied herself ripping my name tag to shreds. We were quickly all holding babies and cameras and juggling things mightily when it was time to get back on the bus again. I think we had returned to our hotel room and then went for lunch where I FINALLY got to feed a baby (MY BABY!) a meal of sorts. Back in our room I uncovered her many layers a little at a time to expose one limb at a time and checked her all out. Perfect right down to the large blue spot on her upper buttock! It was not long before we were hanging and laughing with our silly baby and it was clear that she was fine with us. We returned to the Civil Affairs office and completed the paperwork and just like that (HA!) we were parents to one beautiful healthy happy baby girl!

These last 12 months have been incredible. How do you explain such an utter transformation? I can only say that all the months of being tired, anxious, afraid and sort of being dazed, I am happy to say not only do I still think that we got the best baby ever – I know we did! I know that we have never regretted for one second our decision to adopt from China and that February 20th is my favorite day – because it is the day I was made into EFP’s Mommy. Every day I wake up thankful that this day came and today I am especially grateful that she is my daughter. We spent this last weekend with our travel group and I suspect that similar thoughts are racing through those parents’ heads as well. We are all convinced we were somehow given the best baby. (But I really was!) We are all who we are today because sometime ago we made the decision to take a leap of faith and put our hopes and dreams into the hands of some civil servants in a far away land. Thank you – whoever you all are. Thank you! We are so blessed by this little girl and her little China-Cousins. My heart is just overflowing with love for my family and for our friends all around us celebrating our families.

One year ago – my entire universe changed and now a nearly two-year old baby girl rules my heart and my home. Thank God!

Worth the Wait!

Happy Valentine's Day!

One year ago tonight I was anxiously packing and so excited I could not sleep. We were preparing to leave for China for our grand adventure! I was so aprehensive and yet so happy to be leaving, finally!

This is worth the wait in every respect!

Can you believe the Ladybugs*? I know that EFP had help in selecting and acquiring this - and I am so impressed with DH! Especially since the weather derailed my little surprise. Luckily I will have an opportunity to make it up to him. The card, plus the gorgeous pink roses, is more than I really needed to tell me what a lucky Mommy & DW I am!

*How freaky is it that the bugs kinda look like me and EFP?

Live from New York it's.......... EFP!!

Moments ago I captured the essence of EFP! This is what she looks like seconds before bed... after chasing Mommy and Daddy around the house for a little while and before the rocking, singing, book reading and other pre-tuck-her-in activities. I actually asked her to let me take her picture and say "Cheese" which she is obviously happy to do! She did think to ask her trusty assistant (DAD) to hold her pacey "baby ready for her close up!" IS she the sweetest or what!

Styling: Mommy

Dress: Lands End (18 mos - still too big!)

Pants: Baby Gap (also 18 mos - swimming on her)

Tude: All hers!!!!!

My Daughter is making me sick.......

...............well - the germy kind of sick anyway! I have yet another serious sinus infection that has turned to bronchitis. It seems (does it sound better if I tell you this is what the MD said?) that whatever my daughter brings home from her glorious (creamy clouds) daycare goes right to me and my compromised immune system and settles in my beleagured lungs and tries to kill me - slowly and painfully.

Seriously - I am at my wits end with this. I can not live on antibiotics - and I can't keep taking days off work being sick - since I need those sick days for when she is sick.. if that makes any sense at all. Probably not. There doesn't seem to be anything I can do - except find a way to make my own immune system stronger... hmm vitamins and working out perhaps. We'll see.

So the cat is out of the bag!! DH's Mom turned 70 (today) but the surprise party was last Saturday and by all accounts she was surprised all right. It was a great evening - as evidenced by my fancy face darling! She is eating her favorite party food.... cheese and crackers (PLEEEEZ) and having a grand time. I, on the other hand was sick as the proverbial dog and stayed as much out of the way until I could safely leave. I did cook up a storm - but thanks to Auntie Ren - I was not on my own doing it. Everything is so much more fun with a friend to share it with. So we braved on through the weekend and ten tons of ziti and sausage and peppers (and if I don't say so myself, I whale on these things.. Momma taught me good cookin!) was apparently enjoyed by all. It was a very nice party and everyone had a very nice time.

Now we are just waiting for our fingerprint appointment on Friday. Before the week is out I have to pedex everything to our consultant to check and then all the paperwork will be certified, authenticated and certified at the consulate. We will only be waiting for that last document the 171H from USCIS in order to be on our way. I hear it might take 4 weeks to get that last document. It is frustrating but we are calm anyway. I am also anxiously waiting for a new waiting child list our agency is eagerly anticipating. If we look (we have prelim application on file and will get to view and petition first) and see our child - well we will be that much closer to being a family of 4. We are also waiting for our FP for our domestic situation. So this is where we are! Not too shabby actually!

Luv You, Mommy!

***LATE BREAKING UPDATE***

***WE FINALLY recieved our Finger Print Appointment - February 9th!!! ***

There are real fat tears running down my face... as I write this. My precious darling has said those words... for the first time tonight! We always say night night, love you baby - before we close her door and tonight as I was leaving she said "Night Night, Love You Mommy!"



AAAWWW!



I was called at about 12:30 today to come collect her - as she had vomited all over one of the other kids... (and that's frowned upon?) so we had an afternoon together. She stayed awake a bit - then really needed to sleep. I suppose she has one of those viruses again. No other real symptoms though. I could tell she was happy to see me when I arrived to pick her up. It is a relief actually that she is so happy to see me - even when she is feeling poorly. I hear we have some snow in the forecast... great! I have class tomorrow, work piling up and a sick kid. Does the FUN ever end? There are times I wish there were more hours in the day, more money in my wallet, fewer lbs on my butt and less housework to complain about... LOL At the end of the day though - it's all about the Love You Mommys!

Because THEY said so that's why!

We are just swamped at the moment. Our road to DD/DS #2 is not going as smoothly as we'd hoped. Everything is, as usual, done. We are waiting for the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (also called USCIS) to process our I600A Application for Advance Processing of an Orphan Petition (no seriously that is what the form is called!) and we have hit a real bump. The USCIS has apparently received a flood (avalanche, landslide, large pile) of requests for Advance Processing of Orphan Petitions for GUESS WHICH COUNTRY!!!?? Give up... rhymes with SCHMINA! Oh, AND rhymes with SCHWATAMALA! See a pattern here!?

I can't really speak to the Guatemala problem - except that it seems likely that the Hague Treaty will finally be ratified here in the USA and then unless Guat. complies that Americans will be barred from adopting from there for the foreseeable future. Hence, the rush to get papers in before the ratification closes this extremely popular program.

It is not really different for China - it's those of us who were waiting in the lobby - trying to make up our minds, or wait till our children were a little tiny bit older, or wait till we had unpacked from our last trip, saved more money to pay for a second,.... and on and on, and suddenly the door to seems to be closing in our faces before we even had time to make the decision. I am not, by any means, the only one (well that was obvious wasn't it) the room is apparently quite crowded. And the door is about to not just close but, slam shut.

We filed our form (with 1/2 inch of paperwork in supporting documentation) and so did many many others and now we are waiting - and the US Gov. is estimating that our processing time will be 11 weeks and we will miss the cut off. If this is true I have no idea what the likelihood of our being accepted by China after May 1, 2007 could be. I am not really upset - not yet anyway - I guess there is still an optimist somewhere in me that says this will happen. That we will not be shut out completely. Now that we have started - not to mention invested time and money - I want another child. I don't mind waiting - but I would like to know that there will be another so I can focus on the one we have.

On the domestic front - the bullet we dodged in having our China HS dated 1/9/07 and on its way to USCIS on 1/10/07 means we did not have to worry about getting FBI fingerprints BEFORE our HS is certified and complete. The law in NY changed effective 1/11/07 and there are a ton of International parents caught between a rock and a (really FBI) hard place. It can take the FBI 12 weeks to process these requests. No HS - No USCIS, it's all really tough. Well - the bullet is still ricocheting around and bit us in our Domestic butt. Our foster care license can't be processed until we (Did you see this one coming?) get our fingerprints done by FBI!! So I wrote to our caseworker to find out if they would accept our 171H as proof of our FBI check having been completed and approved. We are waiting to see what she says.

Dumplings, Three tagged me so here goes: Six weird things about me

1. I don't like (I mean really don't like) when food boxes aren't opened properly. I like the boxes to be neat and not all torn (which can also make things inside the box stale).

2. When I misplace something I can not do anything else until I have found it - including sleep or eat. I should just misplace everything.......

3. I buy three different toothpastes every time. One is for the Empress, but the other two are for me and DH. I can not share toothpaste with my DH. HE is a squisher, cap leaver-offer, dry-crusty-paste-leaving-in-the sink sort and I am decidedly not. He is also a minty-fresh and I am a cinnamon or vanilla mint (but only if I can not find cinnamon).

4. I have a pile of books near my bed and I am usually reading all of them at the same time. Same for mags, and a few periodicals.

5. I can not sleep or actually do anything without lip balm nearby. I seem to have perennially chapped lips and must have balm or lipstick on and available to reapply all the time. I have been known to get out of bed and go downstairs to restock. I also can not retire for the evening without a bottle of a particular brand of spring water (Schmoland Schpring). There is actually a really funny story about this that has to do with almost costing me my graduate degree! Someday I will write it up.

6. I do not like to drive my car without my little seat belt adjuster. I am short (5') and the seat belt chokes me if I do not use one. My old one broke and so far the replacements have fallen short of my expectations... I use them because I must - but it is cramping my Super Mom Mini Van-ness to have to use the substitutes until I find the right ones.

If you are reading this AND you blog.. consider yourself tagged!! BTW Dumpling's Mom - I totally would have put your second item: Sleep all day and stay up all night - but I do not consider that weird!! LOL

Why I am happy to be waiting again..........

10. Because waiting to meet my next child is simply the most amazing place to dream, plan and speculate.

9. So I have another reason to attend Waiting Family Meetings - cuz I am waiting!

8. Because kids are like potato chips - you can't just have one... (Okay you can have just one! That is ok also!)

7. OOH - More shopping!

6. Because now everything is doubled.. the wait, the times you have to apply for your 171H, the wait!

5. Because I know that at the end of all this one more amazing child will be here with us - with a Mommy and Daddy all his/her own!

4. Did I mention there would be shopping?

3. Because anything worth doing once is certainly worth doing again... and just as well!

2. This time we will be surprised when we are told we have a daughter/son!

1. Because of all the things I have ever done or ever been called - MOMMY is the BEST OF ALL!!!

On a side note - someone I love very much could use some prayers. Please say a prayer for my friend that she regains her usual strength and optimism. Friend, I love you and I will continue to pray and believe.

Can I get some faith?

In a rather stunning departure from our regularly scheduled program - I am asking, no begging for someone to tell me how to get the faith. Pedex does believe our package was delivered and that we will have proof eventually. Meanwhile I can not find out for certain till next week. I sent our home study out anyway and hopefully they receive them both and put them together.

Where I am missing the faith is - that I often feel this was a rash decision on my part. With DHs help of course. We are just about where we need to be in order to pay for this adventure (knowing that we have a long wait helps - but there is a big chunk to be put away for the trip and last bit of expenses and thankfully we have a plan - it's almost like the IRS knows this will happen the tax credit for one pays for the next....) but there are a few gaps and a few gasps. If the time to referral should speed up - we would be in big trouble. How could we afford two in daycare. I suppose we would have to find someone who would sit the kids here or a family situation. I get worried about that - almost panicky - in the reverse of how it was last time. Last time I felt our referral could not come soon enough and with this one - well. 2 years would be ideal, closer to three even better. Though of course my heart is ready now. Our finances are not ready - but our hearts are.

So how do I reach out to believe that this will all work out? That this decision to leap WAS in fact a leap of faith and not a leap into financial ruin for all four of us. I wish I had that sustaining belief that nothing happens without a reason, I have been known to believe that. I do in a way.. and I know that last time it all worked out beautifully. I couldn't ask for a better baby. We are so happy that she is here. It is so hard to be worried that whatever decision I make - sibling or no sibling will not be the right one, yet I feel that in spite of how hard it is going to be to afford - we really need to do this. Oh wow.

Then there are the new regulations about adopting from China. I mean who am I to argue with a whole country. Should I have taken the hint that we would be excluded under the new rules to mean that we should not be trying for a second child? Or was it meant to do what we ultimately chose - to go ahead and pursue our second adoption. I honestly can't say for sure. I just hope that if I keep praying to the universe that all will be well - that it will in face be well. That the money will be there when we need it, that this child will be in our family, that the daycare situation will be ok and that EFP will be happy to be a big sister.


Cute baby stuff ahead: She has started yelling "Mommy" just to see if I will answer!! I love that!!

When it absolutely, positively, has to be there in the morning!!

DON'T depend on PEDEX!!! I am flipping mad at the moment because our precious I600A application is lying on the floor of some smelly delivery van (IF its not lost completely!!) and we are supposed to hope it gets there expedited tomorrow AM. I suppose I am unreasonable at being so mad about this because frankly this is the first snag and it may prove to be a small one - if everything gets where it needs to go tomorrow. Meanwhile someone is checking into the possibility of our being expedited through the fingerprint process and now I am going to look a little silly if they make the call before my paperwork is even there! UGH!

In the meantime - the last other docs we need came today (Good Conduct) and we are hoping to see our notarized HS shortly. So the setback by our overnight fiasco is hopefully going to resolve tomorrow. I am so anxious to get our paperwork out the door at this point.

Meanwhile - EFP is still pretty sick and DH sounds pretty goopy as well. So the two of them have been housebound. I am going nuts because nothing is getting done around here. I mean I am shopping, cooking, medicating, checking and arranging but the plastic stuff is all over the place. Her speech has improved tremendously of late. She is positively chatty!! And I can understand her much of the time these days - though she is still doing that fabulous baby babbling thing where she carries on her side of a fairly intense conversation but not one word is (currently) unintelligible to her Mommy and Daddy. We just nod a lot and say "Oh, really!? That is interesting."

I can't post more because I have to go set up the crockpot for the fabulous chicken and potatoes I am making tomorrow. Wish us luck with the Chicken and the overnight people.

Oh, the weather outside is.... What? 70°

Yes, it has been unseasonably warm around here lately. When I think of what the weather was like this time last year, how we lived in fear of the big blizzard that would delay our flight to China.. yikes! Now, it is so warm that germs that should be annihilated are hanging around with unfettered access to our poor defenseless immune systems. Isn't this a lot nicer than saying that both EFP and I are sick again!!?? I knew I was sick again and yesterday I suspected that she was also and today it was confirmed. I am almost positive she has a sinus and ear infection. We had a rather enjoyable day yesterday at Auntie Ren's and EFP was in her glory... how not? She was the center of attention and decided to go and get herself an Italian Noni! Auntie Ren's obliging (oh and indulging) Mom has become the person of the week! EFP just adores her. Come to think of it - whats not to adore! My favorite friend and her Mom who is a dynamite cook and baker!! Yum - we got to go home with Banana Bread AND Pesto! Well EFP seemed OK yesterday except for a little cough at nap time - but by 2 am I could tell there was a brewing problem and sure enough - the fever, the pukes, the whining.. and the late afternoon nap all clear indications we are in sick baby mode again. DH has already been nominated to stay home and take her to the MD where we will once again be given useless meds and a few anxious days.

I give up. We are progressing on other fronts. Seems our Homestudy is complete. I am waiting for the final final version and then it needs to be notarized and then I can send it off to USCIS to get our fingerprint appointment. We are looking pretty good timeline wise - but unlike last time, this time there can be no ramped up countdown to referral. Things are so volatile in this arena. This time, however, I am fully prepared to wait and frankly, the longer the better. This is not a popular sentiment and I completely understand there will be lots of people who can not see it this way - just as I could not when we were on the agonizingly long wait for EFP. It will be best for us if there are at least 2 years to wait. I can live with that - live with the knowledge that we will most surely be granted a second child and our family will not have to go bankrupt to pay for 2 in full time daycare. I also have still some hope that our bid to become foster parents may bring us a child also. For obvious reasons the less said about that the better - but it is something we have been preparing for. It has always been my intention to foster children and knowing that only some would be available to be adopted we would still like to help out. Somehow this will all be fine in the end. I have been feeling totally different about the whole process this time - a little more relaxed and yet still anxious a bit. It seems the HS has gotten a little more rigid this time around and there are a few more steps to take. Again we have been fortunate that our agency is willing to work with us and allowed the work that we had already done for our Foster Care License to be acceptable. Honestly - I enjoyed the classes but if I had had to sit through one more repeat I think my head would have burst open.

Now is the hardest part -allowing all this hard work to be placed in someone else's hands and having almost no control over it. We wait for other entities (mostly governmental) to do their part and in the words of the late great Tennessee Williams "We depend on the kindness of strangers!" I know we were incredibly lucky last time that our papers turned around so quickly. I hope so again just for peace of mind sake. I am revising our letter to USCIS to make sure they understand that we really need to be granted a quick fingerprint appointment and I am not above sending a picture of the child they helped us bring home last time! That should do it - if my usual eloquence fails to.

This adorable blanket was purchased from two dear friends who have decided to leap into the fray of the business world with just the cutest things ever! Aside from that the quality of the items as well as the cute factor make this one of our favorite shops! As they say - shop early and shop often! Here is the site A family's Heart

Goodbye 2006!

Talk about a basket of Cheer!

Tonight we said goodbye to our happiest year yet! The year our little family expanded to include so much joy! Our little bundle decided she too wanted to ring in the New Year and was up way past midnight. We are not sure why she couldn't sleep tonight of all nights - but it was OK by us. We made the rare exception and our darling danced in the New Year. 2007 bodes well for our family. It is true that we stand to wait a lot longer for our second child, but that is OK. Our first is so loving and loved that we are more than happy spending lots of time being her devoted parents.

Tonight she was in fine form - and EFP-A-GO-GO was back! Dancing on the ceiling, eating chips and spinach dip and in her most surprising turn yet......... herring in cream sauce! Don't ask - but for whatever reason it is a tradition to eat that just before midnight - and we always have. All in all - there is nothing I like better than staying in with my honey and my baby and tonight there was more than enough love to go around. I know that when our family is really complete it will be more sweet - but I am not sure I can be any happier than I am right now!

We wish everyone a VERY HAPPY AND HEALTHY NEW YEAR!!!
May all your dreams come true and every wish be granted!!