It is OFFICIAL!!!

We have a SON!!!

He is 6 years old - waiting for us in Gansu!

We are thrilled beyond belief and so grateful to have been lead in this unexpected direction!

Love to all - pictures when we can!! We will email to dear friends and family!!

Love EFP, Mom & Dad

What ever is going on over there?

Well - the new school year is upon us and we have been running like mad! EFP hardly notices anything different - so it is just my schedule that has changed. She is mourning the loss of our Mommy & EFP Fridays though. We are finally making some progress getting the house organized and I think I have found a handy-guy - we'll see.

There are big doings at work - we are coming up on a very important anniversary so there will be tons of special activities etc. I am excited but also kinda feeling a little overwhelmed. Anyway - we are undergoing some big changes here and will let you know when you can expect an update...

5 Things I Think I am Doing Right

5. Every single day I do some silly running around the house with EFP. This is after a long work day or early in the morning (on the nights I teach late) so that EFP has a really silly funny Mommy.

4. EFP brushes and FLOSSES every day twice a day. We did dodge the cavity bullet and her DDS (wonderful pediatric dentist with lots of IA experience) said her teeth look good but her enamel is probably thin. She was great and EFP bit her but she laughed and went right on. EFP was fine though cried a little and has 16 teeth with 2 molars coming in on the bottom - and the barest hint of the top. She said they are really killer for the two-year olds.

3. EFP has never had any really junky food and her only taste of candy has been chocolate - twice. She eats really healthy for the most part and loves fruits and veggies. She has never stepped foot inside a fast food restaurant - though she has eaten the nuggette de chicken and the fries de la francais... LOL on a few rare occasions. I really try hard to provide healthy balanced meals for all of us but I feel I am succeeding with her at least!

2. I really don't sweat the small stuff and most of the time I do recognize when the stuff is really small. I can see how easy it would be to get really caught up in the details of a toddler's life - but I am doing a good job at not worrying about all the stuff that I shouldn't be.... toys, clothes, etc. Now if I could just stop sweating the not so small.... sibling, school district yadda yadda.

1. I just love this baby - for who she is in all her silly, funny, smart and lovable glory. I do think we are giving her freedom to develop her sense of humor and compassion, her intellect and her imagination. I hear her playing with her animals (4 billion little people animals and people thanks to Fither Pruce! And no none of these were recalled!) and although she is nearly always putting them in some danger (Help me! Help me! I am stuck! A lot like she did when she was pre-walking and confined to her excersaucer) she always sends a few other animals to help them out. She is loving and kind, concerned when the kitties don't get their 2 treat each a day ration, she checks me for boo boos and kisses them if there are any. EFP shares a special snack everyday with her center friends and seems very concerned if any one of them is upset when Mommy/Daddy leave (like she was for a few weeks a month ago!). But I really think that we are giving her a great foundation of love and trust to build on. I probably shouldn't say this is something I do well.. since It is effortless to LOVE her so much, but I know one can love and still not be a good parent. I am not as good a parent as I wish to be all the time - but I do try all the time to be better.

Where is who?

"Mei Mei, Where are you?" I am not JOKING at all!! This is what EFP has been saying (more like shouting) all day! We have not said much about our second child - both because we felt that EFP is too young and the wait is too long... So, now what? And what if Mei Mei turns out to be Di Di? Yikes?!

We had so much fun this weekend... we took EFP over to a spot I know too well from childhood and had a scrumptious seafood dinner by the sea... EFP was truly impressed by the big boats and the gorgeous sunset over the water... she is so sweet and loving.. today was a veritable love-fest and I am overwhelmed by the depth of feeling and laughter that bubbles up whenever she starts the kissing and big hugs..... silly baby. My silly baby!

What I did on my summer vacation

Well, I survived a vacation away with my DH and Toddler! We went, we saw, we splished, we splashed and we rode on the rides till the cows came home… LOL

It was a load of fun – I am more tired now than before we left and EFP officially is a Rocket Girl! Have I mentioned how similar in personality we are? We share so many traits it is uncanny! For instance…. I hate trying new things… I mean I LIKE to try new things but I am always reluctant to do something new the first time. After I have conquered the first time – it is gangbusters after… but I really hate doing things the first time. Well EFP turns out to be exactly the same in this regard. She did not like getting in the rides initially – but as soon as she did, we couldn’t get her out of the ride! We did every single ride (appropriate to her age etc) twice because every ride she was on was “THE BEST EVER!” So we managed to be able to go twice without having to wait – though I must say that with temps reaching into the 100s it was not surprising that very often there were NO lines anyway…!!! LOL

We enjoyed our resort – but I have to say that it was not as much fun as it could have been IF pitchers of Margaritas had been available (again, WHAT was I thinking?). The suite was comfortable and if you didn’t count the 100 decibel wedding happening just at EFP’s bedtime….. well, that was just great. I will also not mention much about the disappointing food… but again a thought for another day. We enjoyed ourselves…. EFP had a blast and the only real downside is that after being with Mom and Dad for all those days in a row she sees absolutely no reason why she should have to live any differently – which has made daycare drop off a bit of a nightmare actually!

More Silly Pictures!

Wigglicious!

Tears streaming down my face, a blinky flashlight hits my head (3x) and screams of joy are everywhere! Flashbacks to a former life are playing in my head when I am not singing at the top of my lungs (oh, there was some of that in my flashbacks as well) and I am surrounded by about a million other doting parents and 3 or 4 million screaming adoring fans... at the Coliseum to see the Wiggles! I was teary because I was so grateful and so aware of how close we came to not being blessed this way... grateful that I can provide these precious memories for our child and so very aware of what a precious gift our daughter is and how very lucky we are.

We had a great time with our friends and the Wiggles really are amazingly entertaining. I wasn't annoyed once - OK, well getting hit on the head a few times by the large flashlight blinky thing - that was annoying. What was also annoying was the response from the parent... NOT I'm sorry or anything - Just "well, he dropped his flashlight!" But -such is the magic of the Wiggles that by the end of the show we were all great friends.... especially when the Red Wiggle strummed Led Zeppelin on his silly guitar... then tried some Hendrix and everyone over 30 was hysterical! My baby is a rocker so she was rocking out as well. I should take a picture of the gelt but - suffice it to say that she made out... there is nothing Wigglish that is not in my house at the moment... hey, I waited a long to time wait on line paying good money for plastic cr*p with the name of mythological creatures or in this case Australians on it!! I, indeed felt I owed it to the universe. In a way - as the kid who never got to go to the shows or get the goodies - I think I will turn out to be a bit more indulgent in this arena than most parents.

On a happier (as if!) note - we had to take EFP to the Imperial Physician today and she is 34" tall (75th percentile) and 29 lbs (90th percentile) so she is growing nicely. She told me this morning that her ear hurt (of course it does! We leave for our mini break tomorrow!) and so I scheduled an impromptu visit with her MD. Of course - I woke up with no voice so I also had an impromptu visit with the MD - WHATEVER.

We are having some fun... EFP has begun speaking in paragraphs and she is every bit as funny and smart as I suspected. She even tells jokes!!

EFP: Knock Knock

Me: Who's there?

EFP: Orange

Me: Orange who?

EFP: Orange Banana (followed by hysterical giggling - from both of us!)

We have dancing time every day and the other night we watched Happy Feet - and I am fairly sure that she is interested in become the younger, female and Asian Savion.... I wish! Delightful is just too mild a word...I am in awe of her all the time. She picked out some fabric (finally getting to finish my Quilt squishes) and I am going to make her some rompers for school. I am so looking forward to our little trip! Of course the ear infection will put a tiny cramp in our style - but I am sure that she will have more fun splashing about then dunking under anyway.

Some cute pix to amuse! The flowers are Stargazer Lillies - my favorite - and they finally bloomed in our garden. EFP was so happy to see and smell the beautiful flowers. The large person is Daddy - we were shooting pics on the most beautiful day... and our flowers in bloom and we were saying hi to neighbors and having a great time!!

HP & TDH

It is done! All 759 pages! I finished the book a short time ago and then answered the call of the Mommy needing. I received the book yesterday at about 1pm and read a bit before leaving for a well needed dinner and a movie with Auntie Ren. We saw, what else, HP & TOOTP and it would take a whole other post to discuss the rude obnoxious movie patrons we were subjected to. I am just disgusted at how little courtesy is shown toward others. All around us people talked non-stop during the movie- even after several polite requests to please be quiet. I mean the last movie I saw before this was before we had even traveled to China! I was really looking forward to see this and I can't understand why people can be so rude?

So I read a bit yesterday and then today... till it was finished. I will begin reading it again for nuance immediately. It was good... I laughed, I cried and on one or two occasions - I exclaimed. I won't bother with the spoilers - either you won't care or you are reading it yourself and have no desire to know what I do at this point. I will say I was more right than wrong and I am proud that I was loyal to a certain character all along - never doubting at all.

Indeed - I had already figured out one major piece of information that helped enormously in barreling to the end of the series. I am sad to have it go and now have only to look forward to the remaining movies. It will be worth it!

This just in!!!

It is a very sad day here in the Palace. We have found out that we can never again drink fruppacino in the Forbidden Palace in Beijing, PRC. Public Protest Clears Forbidden City of Sturbacks!It is indeed a very sad day here in the Palace. Although I hold the memories of our trip to China near to my heart and I know that our return trip will be just as sweet.... there is a part of me that is so sad that this little travesty of cultural imperialism with not be there. I was never so happy to see that green dot as I was that day... although there have been times when the cuppa was just as badly needed and dearly loved. Oh, I just don't know if I can even bear to return to Beijing! Perhaps we will have to travel Through HK - though I am thinking a stop in Shanghai would be a nice treat!!! It is just hard to imagine a world where the bastion to consumerism and imperialism is not being sheltered in the arms of the what was once the most exclusive and off-limits place in the world... yea, that does not actually seem right! Well, as usual I felt you should know that this has happened.

I am teaching a summer course here on campus about Gender & Work and we were talking about gender stereotypes. One of the students said that "people don't really want to see men cry..." I replied I would have been very hurt if my DH had not cried on one or two occasions in our life together. Our marriage and February 20, 2006 when a woman from the orphanage placed our darling girl in our arms for the first time. There were plenty of tears to go around - Mamas and Babas! I was thinking also that there were at least two occasions I could think of in my lifetime where I had seen groups of men crying openly in the street. One I have seen in film since I was less that a year old and the other well... I think there were plenty of people of whatever gender crying where ever they were. It would have seemed somehow too inappropriate to not cry on that terrible day.

It is weird to think I will someday have to explain 9-11 to my daughter just as my own mother explained JFK's assasination to me. To think that this is now a part of our collective history and as such EFP will need to understand that point in time - hard to imagine since I still do not really understand it either. I got to thinking because last night after putting her to bed for the night I turned on the TV and was stunned to see a scene quite reminiscent of 9-11. NYC was ablaze with sirens, flashing lights and regular broadcasting was interrupted. Thankfully - it was a steam pipe explosion and though there were casualties they were relatively few. The city is all in an uproar and on top of that it had already been a very bad day for many. The torrential rain and thunder/lightening brought traffic to a complete standstill and many people never made it to work, cars were flooded and I know for a fact that there was not a rental car available for 100 miles anywhere near NYC.

Not far from where we live a tornado touched down. Hmph! It is all too easy to forget the precarious nature of human life. How seemingly small events or large can impact us in ways we are not prepared. Counting myslef lucky to have merely been a bystander in the annals of history seems quite enough for me. I can handle brushing with greatness from a safe distance.

Life goes on here much as usual. My car is fixed and back at home. We are still struggling some with separation anxiety at daycare drop off and yesterday EFP declared "I no like school" but then ran up the path and happily shared snack with her two favorite friends J & K. We had one more nasty bite incident and while I do feel sorry for the child who is the biter - I am not going to allow my child to be victimized by another. We had stated in no uncertain terms that our child is not be be put at risk for another bite/scratch from this kid. I know that toddlers are physical and that EFP can get pushy - so when she is in it with any other child it is not a problem and they do teach good skills for dealing with this. No, this is simply a child who will get up from playing, walk across the room and try to bite a chunk out of my daughter for no earthly reason. The child in question is now on one-on-one restriction and the next step is out the door. I am by no means the sort of mother who will swear that her child is never at fault or that it is impossible for her to misbehave... quite the contrary!! I do see that she needs limits and discipline with frustration. She has hit a kitty and received an immediate time out. I mean we only have three big rules... no hitting, no throwing (except balls) and no meaness to kitties. That is it for now. EFP and her friend J are like sibs already they are always at each other with toys or activities - but they are just as likely to hug and kiss as push and shove. This other situation is nothing like that. I am still rather furious.

On other fronts things continue much the same. We are getting excited about our upcoming vacation and looking forward to some much needed rest and relaxation. Hope everyone is enjoying their summer and getting the chance to recreate and recuperate.

WOW, Miss T is how old...........?

Why she is 11!! Thank you so much for asking! 11 Years ago - a person was born who is the essence of heart and soul for me. I never knew until the minute my sissy gave birth to Miss T - the meaning of the words unconditional love. I an so lucky to have a sister who had two such amazing children. I am thankful everyday - for without my niece there would never have been an EFP! She is:

1. 11 years old today July 8th, 2007 (they are on their way back from the national championships that were held in Canada and I don't think they had access so I am posting this late).

2. An amazing Irish Step Dancer who competes in Prelim Champion level (AWESOME)

3. AN incredibly gifted and talented young lady

4. A very funny person

5. Incredibly intuitive and emotionally sensitive

6. Smart in all the right ways

7. Crafty and artistic

8. Dramatic and poised, Silly and musical

9. Kind to animals and her little brother (she saved him from a bear once)

10. Helpful to have around (understands the packing shoes rules)

10.25 A great and sincere friend

10.5 Imaginative and ingenious

10.75 Loving and lovable!!

11. Beautiful - inside and out!

Love - Aunt Sissi, Uncle G and EFP!!! We love you and we are so proud of you all the time!!!

Two-year molars!

And other trips to h*ll! We have reached the end of the teething and it is a nightmare. Fevers from 99 to 102 at any time of day or night. EFP is in such pain she ASKS for "meds Mommy, please!" I mean have you ever heard of a two-year old ASKING for meds? Of course - mine also asks for shrimp now - so I have come to expect that from her. We needed no fireworks for the 4th - we had our own. EFP is miserable... and so I have been a virtual prisoner on my little mini-break. Oh well, the down time is good for us, we are usually so busy that any excuse to relax is welcome. She did go swimming for a bit tonight and we did make one trip to Targette - for the dollhouse bookcase (SALE!) and I have finally organized the toybee section of the LR and now her books, little peeps and all the playduh stuff is organized and easy to reach. Whoopee!! EFP can now count to 20 in English, 10 in Spanish & ASL, and 5 in Mandarin. Is my baby the BOMB or what?


It has also become abundantly clear we will be waiting a very long time for EFP's sibling. I am not upset - I knew going in that the wait would be long, I am just worried that by the time we get a referral we would have become sort of out of love with the idea of adding another child and that is when the panic sets in. I mean we are still sort of working on making our life work with one child - I can't imagine how adding another is going to be, especially when we won't know for a few years even what gender the child would be. Apparently at a recent meeting with our agency the CCAA confirmed that a 2.5 to 3 year wait for those of us currently in process has been deemed probable. I went into this thinking that would be fine - one day care bill at a time and all.. now, back aching from aforementioned organizing, baby holding, comforting and other miscellaneous motherings that I just wonder if I will still want another in 3 years. My agency released a new waiting child list - and there are some adorable babies - any of whom I would be so lucky to parent - but the day care dilemma and not having enough time saved to be able to travel and then stay home for even a little while loom as huge problems. Will the idea of starting all over again in 3 years have lost some of its allure after so long? ACH! (like Bill the Cat). I don't know, I guess we will see. Oh - and FINALLY after ONLY 10 months.. we are a licensed foster family! yea us.

Ooh! Look what I can do!!!

What's up?

Life - or the business of living it, that is what! We have been so busy... mostly in a good way. We have a new schedule that some of us appreciate more than others of us, since it requires that some of us get up at the crack o dawn. I am working 4 days and trying desperately to be on time in the morning. Some days I am somewhat successful at it. EFP seems to like being up in the morning with both of us. Daycare has been a bit of a struggle though - in true 2 year old fashion EFP decided she would rather NOT have Mommy leave. It isn't that she wants to leave with me... no. She wants me to STAY and PLAY all DAY! I mean she loves her class and all her friends - she just wants her cake and eat it too.. if Mommy would just stay and read her books, and play her games and feed her snacks and give her juice and water (Only Mommy gets the juice water balance just so!). and hugs and kisses all day.

I would too. I really would - but they only have these little chairs see. Anyway - it has already started to be a hectic summer and work is still mostly crazy. I mean I am crazy busy. Otherwise - we are trying to have fun. Working on some projects. trying to stay positive on some fronts. I mean it is fairly easy to get discouraged at times. Friends aren't who you think they are... work is stressful. Even when you are trying to do something nice... Months and Months ago I had arranged to distribute some blankets... and they are only taking them 5 or 6 at a time... so it requires a separate trip every 4 or 5 weeks only to deliver a few blankets. I had hoped to donate the whole lot - but apparently construction has eliminated all the temporary storage available and so my garage is the holding area. I don't mind - but now that the parking area is all messed up it is quite a project. Oh well. At least I get to wash and dry and wrap them each time. Not such a big deal, considering.

Still trying to work out the car thing - oh, yea I got hit. Pretty clear cut accident - I got rear-ended on my way to work about 2 weeks ago. Thank goodness for insurance - hers and mine. It was her fault and thankfully she was nice enough to admit it to her own insurance company - now its just a question of hauling the thing in to be repaired. Of course the important thing is no one was hurt and it was after I had dropped EFP off at her center.

EFP is growing by leaps and bounds. She is 33" and 29lbs. Last Saturday I took her for her first 'official' haircut.. she is a girly-girl all right! Nails AND hair all in one day. She had her first Popsicle a few weeks ago - and that was fun! She is liberal with the kisses and hugs and says "Love You" all the time... she is still the silly funny baby who cracks me up... she says funny stuff all the time... she is counting up a storm... and she really understands what it means. I thought she was just repeating but I tried her out and sure enough she can honestly count! IN English and Spanish and Sign! She is so amazing... everyday is the best day with her.

Busy Times!

Who knew that our social life would get so hectic - not for us though! Mostly for our Empress, naturally she gets to go to all the best parties. This weekend alone we got our nails done, went to a very windy picnic and then attended a family fete in honor of Father's Day. EFP made her daddy a spectacular giftie - a picture of her with daddy in a great frame with all sorts of animals on it. She also drew all over the card we gave to Papa. (DH's Dad) We went she played and we got to spend some time with our delightful niece and nephew... it was all good!!

By the way - does it seem like I am over compensating with the fancy hair flowers?? She tolerates my hairdressing - nothing more. She did wear a hat yesterday for the picnic - but it was too windy to wear it long. I will post pics of EFP's first Popsicle shortly. I am just too tired to go downstairs and get the camera! So these will have to do!

EFP's ABCs

This is definitely way more fun than prime time TV!

AAAAWWW!

The end is nigh.....

It's the end of the world as we know it..........

Return of sticker girl!

Yes, it is true. I did it. I didn't want to and yes I fell in with a crowd that likes this sort of thing. I mean come on.... I mean everyone does it once, right? It's not like I was the only one and it's really harmless... I didn't even like it I only did it so we could be cool... I didn't want EFP to stick out and so today we drove to Chucks and went in. Yes, we ate the pizza and EFP had a little cake. She played some games and even cried when tickets didn't roll out of the egg game (for which she recieved a bonus of several tickets thanks to the kind worker). But I swear the whole time I was thinking what a bad idea it is and I should never go along with the (minivan) crowd again. And I won't. Not one more time and no one can make me. In short we attended a birthday party at Chuck E Cheese's and I will never do that again. I am glad we went - wouldn't have missed this particular kid's birthday, but wild horses (or giant gray rats) couldn't drag me to that noisefest every again.

In the meantime - been sidelined with bad cold, DH down with it and battling some wicked respiratory infection, EFP had ear infection and this weekend instead of attending cool picnic at nearby park - I was suffering in food poisoning h-ll. In short it has been "casa de dolor a casa de mi! I have also been really busy preparing to teach a class this summer and working on another writing project - which I think will actually work. Busy Busy Busy!! Already looks to be a very busy summer!! Start working 4 day weeks and EFP will have 4 day daycare and on Fridays we will, hopefully, start a class together though I still havn't figured out which one.. gymnastics or music. Well - I need to get to bed. I will post more pics soon. Please check out my post on the Lupus Walk and if there is anything you can do to helps stamp out this awful disease... please please please do.

Lupus research walk - June 10th - Please, Sponsor me! Lupus overwhelmingly strikes women between the ages of 15 and 45 - just the time they need all their strength for their families. Please help support this important research so a cure can be discovered!


Here are some pics of my cutie pie - while you think it over.

Future American Idol, perhaps?

And, How do I get to Carnegie Hall again?

Mother's Day Study in Green

There is only one cute baby in the universe

and every mother has that baby. - Chinese proverb

Except of course that I really do. It has been an typical week I am still recovering from my illness and yesterday the Empress decided to puke on me (AFTER I got dressed for work) not once, not twice, but three freakin times!! And yes - there was just enough time between that I got cleaned and redressed three times before I realized she was actually sick and there would be no work or daycare. Turns out she has a mild ear infection and the crabbiness was due to the fever. GREAT! Then tonight I came home and my kissy face baby - planted kisses all over my face! I would say this is what it is really all about. She is feeling better - though her "ear ouches" which believe it or not is how I figured out she actually had an ear infection - she TOLD me!! Is this kid the smartest most adorable kid or what?

Morning becomes her..........

This is what I have been doing every morning for the past 1 year, 1 month and 23 days - getting the Empress dressed and ready to face the day! Only now we have the added fun of a baby girl who realizes her position (center of the universe) in this family and has decided "Mommy! CHEEEEEEZZZE!!" Or "Take my picture Mommy!" So I have been taking her picture every morning after her toillette and she very carefully poses for me... I have stop myself from cracking up (I don't usually make it!) because then she starts cracking up and it gets extremely silly! I just thought you guys have been very patient.... here is your reward!! And there is more to come - so stay tuned! These are from Monday, April 23, 2007.

Let me not to the marriage of true minds....

.....Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
-- William Shakespeare

With these moving words, even prettier music, all our friends and family in the most beautiful of settings my love and I were married this day nine years ago! In that time- time's fool has wrought some definite changes and yet, my love is not shaken. I suppose having been through as much as we have together and separately - we will not be shaken nor removed nor bent! I may not say it enough - though I think it constantly - my life would not be what it is without my partner, my friend and the love of my life. It is easy to love - but hard to be married, harder still when there are children, jobs, families all wanting time and attention. It can be hard to remember all the little things - like I still smile broadly when my LH (Loving Husband) sends flowers to my office!! (I think HE knows this cuz look what he sent today!!) or remembers some silly thing and makes sure it happens.

We may be parents - and tired alot of the time, but we are still best of friends and there is no one else I could imagine having shared this much of my life with so happily. In marrying my LH I got the best of the bargain for sure - for I married into a family of amazing people who I love and who love us back! I married someone who will always make sure my coffee is waiting and my lunch made.. even if the only thing in the house is a chicken wing - I will have a sandwich!

I married someone who when I said I needed to be a mother and I thought our child was in China - said "How soon do we travel" in spite of what it cost us and all the uncertainty. This is also the person who, not so long ago, responded to my teary-eyed observation that the new rules would mean no going back to China for another amazing child - with "We better get the paperwork in before that happens then!" Can you understand why I love my big clumsy guy?

This guy puts his family first before anything or anyone and that is why nine years ago - the day I said "I DO!" I meant it and I have not regretted it for a second anytime since.

Happy 9th Anniversary Me Honey!

Ribbit Ribbit

The Empress at play in the fields of the living room.

Yes, that is a frog voice - that is, that is what I sound like!! Somehow it started Friday and has only gotten worse since. I have no voice whatsoever... now before anyone starts jumping for joy - or alerting the media.. I am fairly certain this is temporary and related to a whopper of another bout with chronic sinusitis. REALLY annoying. I have not been able to speak much more than a whisper. EFP thinks it is funny - but has been sad that I can not manage her special song... she sings it for me though - which is actually better. Only a child could think I sing well anyway!

So as I croak along.. it remains to be seen how long this bout will last!!

Lingering on sadness....

I was trying so hard not to do this. Not to have to pour out the grief here. It has been a sad week for all of us - but especially for students. I can hardly believe it has happened. All across college and university campuses everywhere = administrators are trying to figure out how to prevent this horror, students are trying NOT to picture themselves in the same situation and parents are sleeping less. There is something that may not be 100% evident to those not lucky enough to work with college students - it is easy to love them. I love teaching my students... having them traipse in and out of my office with their problems, dilemmas and other queries more mundane (will that be on the final?). I love them though - how can one not? They are adults in the making full of suppositions and opinions and eagerly looking forward to the day we constantly tell them to put off for as long as possible. College is the last good time, right? Only not this week. Not for those Virginia kids or any of us who can comprehend that yet another space has been violated. 32 Innocent souls and one poor troubled young man. How do we account for that?

I have been inexplicably mired in sadness - more so than I would normally be. Ah, just another one of the perks of being a mom. In those kids - I see my own child. Do I start praying now - that I will continue to feel that I can allow her the freedom to go "away" to college if she wishes? Will this be one of the reasons I provide for why that is not a good idea? Will I think on the tears of the parents who can never argue with or see their baby again when I schedule our college tours? Can I overcome the fear to let her go where she feels she should go... or will these hours color my decision.

It is all so sad. I feel somehow we are responsible for this crazy world we have forced our young people to deal with. That some great oversight on our part has led to this horribly altered world where something as simple as taking a class can be ended tragically. So many will think they understand or can blame - but just like all parents colleges also have to balance protection with freedoms, concern with safety. Our students are adults - and deserve the respect and autonomy that they have earned - but they are still our children and they deserve our caring.

I do hope that the families and friends of those who are effected by this terrible ordeal will know that there are people all over the world who are thinking of them, praying for them and wishing them some solace in this cruel event. Hokies - you have my deepest sympathies.

Find out how you can help!

Win the fight against Lupus. Join me and other concerned families as we participate in the Walk to Cure Lupus We hope to raise awareness and the funds to aid in the research for an end to this debilitating disease. One of our own FCC LI families is dealing with this right now and so we come together to do what we can to help! Please consider helping in some way - no matter how small. Thanks a bunch!

MY Amazing Sister!

Made this amazing Irish Step Dancing Solo Dress for an American Girl doll to be raffled off to support the Drumcliffe School of Irish Dance - Binghamton Travel Fund where my exceptionally talented niece is in training. The raffle will raise money to send the dancers who qualify to the world competition in Ireland.

Can you believe that this is a on-of-a-kind handmade? I think it is gorgeous makes me want to strap on some gillies and get hoofing! So I am giving you a link to my sister if you want more information, would like to place an order for your AG doll loving girl or whatever! My sister is also making solo dresses for real girls! A while ago I posted a picture of the dress she made for my neice - it is truly beautiful a real work of art. As is my niece - who is also a work of art homemade by my sister (well and her DH) and even prettier than the dress! I would love for any of my Irish Dance enthusiasts to give a shout out to my sister and compliment her hard work! I love ya sis!

Post Rabbit Bliss

Welcome Caroline Grace - 8 lbs 14 oz 4/5/07 at 9:54 AM!! Our newest family member and EFP's Cousin.

We had a very quiet holiday weekend. EFP and I were both recovering from the mysterious illness that had us both coughing and choking and in general being miserable. She is still coughing and I am still sick - but we are both on the mend on some level. Since no one was available due in part to aforementioned welcome arrival we decided to skip Easter entirely. It was actually not so bad, though at the last minute I was missing roasted Lamb and Potatos I did not miss the mess or anything else. I also missed our family company - but again we were so under the weather that I really didn't mind being home all day. I started work on another blanket at EFP's request since she was rather upset that the one I have just completed was not for her. :-(

EFP also decided she wanted a purple one - which is ironic since my very first blanket was purple and was originally for her but went to a different baby since our wait was so long and unpredictable. An identical blanket actually got misdirected/taken by the postal service on route to China for a friend. I still have to replace that blanket but as usual I am behind in maki g blankets so I don't know when I will finish up and get back to that one. Too bad it is impossible to knit two at the same time...

I am back at work after travel and sick time... still feel kinda yucky but I have so much to do I really needed to get back into the office. Feeling bad also for the waiting families out there - the news never seems to be good these days. Apparently - only two days of LIDs recieved referrals in this latest batch. At that rate it really will be three years for us. I am REALLY ok with it.. but I know there are some broken hearted and despairing parents. I wish they could know what I know... I was SO one of them while we were waiting and our wait lengthened. I was angry, disbelieving, anxious, afraid and despairing of ever becoming a mother - on this side of things I still can remember how it felt but the fact is that just as all those who went before me had said it really does become a faded memory after you are home and living life with a child. I know that the benefit of adopting again after the first is the feeling of (somewhat) certainlity that this road will end with a child and that the happiness will allow us to separate the bad feelings from the good. I feel this journey in such a different way than it was the first time. I still feel bad for those waiting families and wish they could believe it will all be ok in time. Perhaps the most valuable lesson for me was that patience really is it's own reward. Perhaps I am able to be more patient this time... for EFP's sake and that of our second child, I sincerely hope so!!

WAAAAHHH!!!

I am writing tonight from my hotel room in Austin Texas. I miss my little one so much it is a physical ache. Who knew this would happen? She and her daddy are doing great - so far she asks for me but is able to be distracted. Daycare says she is doing great - had a little melt down when another Mommy arrived and I guess she realized that I had not dropped her off.. it is so hard to be so far away!

I heard a speaker today who introduced herself by saying she had 7 children!! And oddly everyone clapped for her.. me loudest of all because I have one and it is hard to manage being a professional and Mom. She has a successful career and apparently 7 wonderful children and 2 granchildren. Mom is definitely the harder job. In some ways my feminist side says... why do they have to mention the children when presenting a professional women do they routinely do that when introducing impressive men? No - but then I realize that it is a major accomplishment to have both and we all know that many Moms who work do the lion's share of the child and home care so it takes a really amazing woman to do it well and succeed at either. Someday I hope someone introduces me and remembers that I am a Mom... as well as a professional.

But I can't write more - I miss my baby too much. Can not wait to get home and see her little face - give her big hugs. I hope she is not like the cats who prefer to just ignore me when I get home from a trip of this length. Tomorrow I will have a break so I can get a little shopping in.. the shop here at the Hyatt has a ton of Hello K*tty things so I may dive into that. I am trying not to succumb to whatever it is that is kicking me - I skipped the entertainment this evening so I could rest up a bit. What a whimp. But I do not want to get home to just collaps in a heap!!
So that is all the news.. continue to enjoy the pics til I can post some more - I am hoping for some first real haircut pics soon!!

The cutest 2 year old in the universe!